Chapter 39 ~ Release

  After I shut the door Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed with a smirk on his face that said,' Ha Ha you are so easy to fool.' I couldn't help but smack him right upside the head.

" What the fuck Bella, what was that for?" yeah he wasn't smirking anymore.

" I am on edge Edward, I don't need little jokes, and surprises!" I snapped

" Really? Are you serious right now Bella? This whole operation is all you, you run this show so you are constantly shocking the hell out of me." He was irritated. " On top of it you have people all over here following us, you, whatever, and lets not forget that I am on edge just as much as you are, GOD FUCKING DAMMIT BELLA!" 

So clearly Edward had reached his limit, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He had been holding it all in for so long. Scared I would snap and turn the world to ash, watching and waiting to see his daughter, and naturally when everything went down and we all witnessed Emily get slaughtered by my father and told that OUR daughter was in their hands, he held it together.... for me. So I would give him this, it was his turn. I took a step back against the door and let him go.

" Bella, I get it you are getting flashes and feelings of a past that existed, you did things you had to do, but at the end of the day, you got to forget... I didn't." He ran his fingers through his hair with purpose. "Me? well I got to know that you were out there somewhere, the love of my forever, with out me but hopefully happy, never knowing of me, and our daughter somewhere to. No mind wipe for me though, just a torturous forced marriage and a useless existence I couldn't escape from."

I never really thought about his sacrifice much. Now I just felt selfish and all consuming. Could it be a side effect of having Satan as a father and a succubus for a mother? I desperately wanted to grab Edward hug him, kiss him make him feel how much I love him, but he needed to release this... all of it, so I would wait.

" Bella, when I found out you were in the same town I lived in I was terrified and electrified. I wanted to know you but I wasn't allowed. Watching from a distance only takes you so far before you want to com bust. You were so innocent, totally washed clean of all the sin that flowed through your veins. So I kept my distance, until the itch of you ate through my flesh and I had to touch you to relieve my suffering." He chuckled a bit in the memory. " Zaf yelled at me for a long time when I told her I needed to talk to you. Kept saying if I did we would all die, you would remember and that would be the end of it all." Finally he looks at me... " Then you walked into the bar and my blood felt like acid, the pain was unbearable, and I knew I was screwed, and for a brief moment I became a selfish prick, I spilled my drink down your back." He started walking toward me, as if I were prey. " All those nights you worked late for Tanya, you have no idea how I wanted to grab you, pull you to the floor and fuck the ever loving shit out of you, it took every ounce of strength I had in my body to walk away."

He was literally an inch from my face, this man I would die a thousand deaths for, but he looked like he was a million miles from here, recounting everything. " But that night, I had to talk to you, what harm is there in a drink right?" he shrugged. " But you, your skin, your smell, your energy sucked me in like a tornado, and tore me apart, I knew that I wasn't going to ever leave you again." Gently he caressed my cheek with the pad of his thumb. " It was too late, that little selfish mistake set off the domino effect of disasters, there was no going back, but Bella you know what?"

I couldn't talk so I just nodded and possibly grunted something. " It was worth it." He took his hands and put them on my hips, " Your touch was worth it." He leaned in and kissed my forehead, " Your mind was worth it." He placed a hand on my chest, " Your sacrifice was worth it, and I know that sounds horrible but, hiding and fighting from what we are together was not a life worth living." 

It made sense, he needed to lift the veil from my eyes, and although at the time it was careless it turned out being the best thing he could do. I watched as Edward's eyes shifted to my lips and like magnets we connected, his kiss claimed every inch of me. He wrapped his arms around me. We embraced each other fiercely as if our lives depended on it. This wasn't Edward the man, this was Edward the monster that lives within him. He pulled back from me for just a moment, his gaze was dark, full of hunger, I heard him hiss as he took his hand and caressed my neck. He slowly turned my head and with gentle force, sunk his teeth into me.  I let out gasp and was about to shove him across the room when suddenly my body became warm. My heart exploded like a box of fireworks. Pure pleasure surged throughout my body making me shiver all the way down to my core. I grabbed two fist fulls of his hair and held him there, I didn't care if he took every drop of my blood if it meant I could feel this feeling forever. But he released me, he looked at me with those amber eyes and a smile that screamed sex! I leaned in and licked the lingering blood from his lips.

" Oh Bella, you taste amazing." 

I knew Edward was shattered, he finally broke and I decided to make it my sole purpose for the night to put him back together. I put on my all too eager game face, and smiled back at him. " Now you have sin coursing through your veins." He shook his head, amusement painted across his face.  

" I want to taste all of you."

Yeah that did it, I grabbed onto Edward's shoulders, with my leg and kicked the legs right out from under him and he crashed to the floor. He looked at me in shock. I straddled myself on his lap, and smiled a winning kind of smile, " what were you saying about pulling me to the floor and fucking the shit out of me?" His smile started small, and then he was beaming like a child at Christmas.

" Alright Bella but...." in a fluid movement he flipped me  so that he was now towering over me. " If I'm fucking you then I am on top."

Edward wanted to play, I knew he was desperately looking for a distraction from his thoughts. I knew all too well how the mind could manipulate a moment and turn it into a nightmare. So, I buried everything, my fears, my worries all of it, there was only Edward. I lifted my head grabbed his lower lip with my mouth and sucked, his low growl was a welcome sound. " Alright let's play!"

His hand hovered above my breasts for what seemed like an eternity, his eyes were glued to mine, I knew what he was seeing because it was the same thing I saw in him.... everything! Our love, fear, joy, and uncertain future. It is this moment here that mattered. We didn't know what tomorrow would bring or the day after. In the end who would win? The now was our focus and he saw that in my eyes. With his finger he tore through my shirt like it was tissue paper. He laid his soft lips upon the valley between my breasts, and with his teeth gripped my bra and snapped it open. " beautiful." It was a whisper and just a simple single word, but it was a prayer to my ears.

I stroked his hair with my fingers as he tasted every inch of my breasts, his fingers were tapping on my shoulder, a pattern, bump, bump, bump, faster and faster. " What is that?" I asked through heavy breath. 

He looks up through long dark lashes, and his amber eyes look at my damned eyes and over to his fingers, " The most amazing sound in the world Bella." Obviously my face showed my confusing. " Your heartbeat." I had never thought about how I had a heartbeat and he didn't and how that sound would be music to my ears when I laid on his chest. " You Bella are truly the most unique and most radiant creature on this planet." And just like that I fall in love with him all over again.

He didn't fuck the shit out of me on that floor, he made love to me on that floor. His tongue tasted every part of my body, his hands explored every inch of my skin, and I gave him more of myself then I have given anyone. We climaxed together, and laid wrapped around each other until the sun came up, our eyes didn't part from each others gaze once. Skin on skin for hours, the intensity made me want to cry. But I didn't, this wasn't about me this was about Edward, and I was strong for him, I was unselfish, and I was his.

Chapter 38 ~ Preparation

After everyone left to eat I sat in a chair just staring at the screen at all the indicator lights and the blueprints of the castle hung up next to it. Emily was there, I couldn't help her, why didn't I check up on them, what was I thinking, God could I have saved her?

" Bella?" I look up and Edward is watching me. His gaze is weary, so much sadness and terror in his eyes. Mara is his daughter and he didn't lose it like I did. Instead he held his shit together... for me, so I could fall apart.

" Oh Edward come here." I stand, opening my arms and he slowly reaches for me, grabs my wrist and pulls me into his arms. " We will get her back."

" I know Bella, I am so sorry about Emily." 

" I know," I grip him tighter, " I hope I don't fuck up."

He lifts my chin with his finger, " you are the strongest, most amazing woman I know, I doubt highly that you are even capable of failure."

I chuckle, " have you been drinking, no offense but it seems like all I do is fail, otherwise I wouldn't have fallen for Aro and Moriana's trickery, Jasper would still be alive, and Alice would be nothing but ash."

He just shakes his head leans in and kisses me with undying passion. Taking my hand I caress his cheek lightly digging my fingers into his jaw. When he stops he is glaring at me with love, lust, hope, everything.

" Bella, we have all been fooled, but you can only have the wool pulled over your eyes for so long, Aro knows this, eventually he knew you would put the pieces together, that we all would, he just never expected that you would become this strong, this fast."

" Oh Edward, if I am so strong why are you making me feel better when I should be the one making you feel better?"

"Because I love you, and loving you makes me the strongest man in the world."

I can't help but smile adoringly into the eyes of the greatest man I have ever known. " Maybe that's the key to it all then."

He smirks " enlighten me"

" Love, it's the key to it all."

" Oh we could only be so lucky." He leans in again and gripping the sides of my face kisses me deeply, reaching all the way into my broken soul, shaking it back to life filling it with light.

I light cough catches our attention turning we see Maggie smiling at us," Hey Maggie." I say slightly embarrassed

" Well hello you two love birds, so sorry to interrupt your.. err.. well whatever it was but the good doctor wants to start taking your blood, he thinks if we take a little at a time it will be safer for you."

I nod, " sounds good, thanks I will be right there."

" alrighty sweetie." She exits the room fairly quickly.

Edward and I return our attention to each other, " Ready?" he murmurs

" As ever." hand in hand we walk to the clinic. As we enter we notice the counters and wall dividers are all being moved ," What's going on in here?" I chime in all surprised

Carlisle looks up at me with narrowing eyes, " Well it looks like this plan of yours will bring in a whole lot of casualties or injured, so I will need room."

He is angry..... at me. " Look Carlise I know why you are upset with me."

He stands and stalks over to me rather abruptly, " Please Bella, don't."

I gasp at his massive attitude change, " Excuse me Doctor but you are out of line here."

" Am I Bella?" he looks down, shakes his head, he looks like he is trying to sort things out. " I love her so much, she has been through more in her lifetime than most of us, I don't want this for her."

Esme, ahh yes. " I know Carlise, she told me."

He looks at me, his stare is piercing, " Then why, how can you let her just go?"

" Because it's not my choice, but more so because the life she has now is no life at all." Feeling resigned to the fact that many people are likely mad at me I embrace my choices, and feel forced to be a soldier for Esme's. " Sitting in front of waiting pools, dropping flowers in them for a century, reliving a horror that only in our nightmares can we comprehend is not an existence." 

Carlise is just looking at me speechless, no sign of relenting, so I continue. 

" She blames herself Carlise, she is torturing herself, your love is a beautiful thing, but it's received by a shell of a woman that once was, her heart is dead, and if you want to restart it you need to let her have her closure."

Finally his eyes soften, he looks from me to Edward who is just holding me tightly, he has such pride in his face. " Let's get that blood drawn, Bella, come on." 

We don't talk anymore, Carlisle takes as much blood as he can without causing me harm. As we walk out of the clinic and down the corridor we realize we are being followed. I furrow my browse confused, I look at Edward, he has a hint of a smile on his face, no worry. We continue on our way and we hear footsteps, many more coming up to us. Again I look at Edward and he looks back at me and just shrugs. " Edward you hear that right?"

He just nods and suppresses a smile. " Edward what's going on?" Finally I stop walking and at the same moment all footsteps cease. I look around I don't see anyone, " Come on for real what is going on?"

" I believe we are being followed Bella." He says it like I should expect it.

" Well shouldn't we be worried?" 

He turns to me, " No."

And he just continues and as our speed picks up again so do the footsteps and as we turn a corner I push Edward to the wall and peer around where we were to see Seth, Rose, Emmett, and a few others coming our way, I jump out of them, " What the hell are you doing besides scaring the shit out of me?"

Rose simply folds her arms, " Well this is great, if we scare you how the fuck are you going to take on mommy dearest and daddy demented?"

Emmett lightly taps her arm, " Bells we are following you, to learn you."

And it hits me, of course I told them to learn my walk my gestures. " right." I look at Edward he is laughing silently. " And you couldn't just tell me this?"

" Oh come on Bella this was much more entertaining." He quips " Besides I thought it would take your mind off things."

I just shake my head, " Jerk." I say jokingly. He just shrugs, puts his hands in his pockets. I turn my attention to Rose, " Very well but I am going to take a shower now so do me a favor and DON'T follow me in there."

" Oh trust me this cause will only take me so far." She snaps back

I smile, " Good." I take Edward's hand and head to our room.

Chapter 37~ Nightmares

I couldn't move, frozen and catatonic. Dread, and hopelessness washing over me. It felt like death was sitting on my chest laughing at me. I could hear the sounds of voices but it was suffocated echoes. My vision was blurry nothing made any sense and then again it made perfect sense at the same time. Aro was too quiet, he hadn't tried to invade the camp here, we hadn't heard anything. It was only a matter of time until he struck. Emily's words played over and over in my head ~ " They busted through the doors, they had to break my arms I swear I wouldn't let her go and I didn't until they forced her from my hold, They took us to the castle, Bella, I am kept alive only to deliver this message to you that they have her, so since this is the last words of mine you will hear, know that I love you, and that every minute of my life was blessed because of you and Mara, thank Edward for trusting me with her, and I am so sorry I couldn't keep her safer, longer, Be brave beautiful Bella, be strong, Bring our little girl home, and kill these mother fuckers!"~

My sister, my blood, and now they had my daughter. Everything was falling apart and we had run out of time. I felt my body lift. For a moment I thought I was floating until I smelled Edward and realized he was carrying me. Still there was nothing but loss in my heart. I couldn't do this alone and no one else was strong enough to take on our enemies. " We're doomed."

Edward stopped moving, he put his face in mine, " Don't you dare quit on me, we are going to get her back!" 

He truly believed it, but how was he full of hope when the world was falling apart. The only way out of this was to sacrifice myself, take their attention so that they can get Mara out and..... That was it! I jolted and hopped out of Edward's arms, " I got it!"

His face was hard, his eyebrows were a canopy for his eyes casting shadows over his beautiful face, " What is it Bella, you know something?"

" Yes, Me, he wants me, so we give him me!"

Now his face went from grave to horrified, " You are fucking kidding me, Bella No we have been through this, we go together or we don't go, I'm not losing you." He gripped my shoulders forcefully, " Never again!"

He meant it, I knew if I left he would come after me, I knew that if he did he would end up dying. " I know Edward, listen trust me this is..."

He cut me off, " Fucking hell Bella, enough I am not going to be OK with anything if it means you are not beside me through this!"

I reached up and grabbed his face with both hands, and pushed my face an inch from mine. " I know, believe me I do." Gently I kissed him, waiting for him to melt, for an ease that wasn't going to come. " Gather everyone to the training center, and let me explain, please."

He clamped his eyes shut, clenched his jaw and nodded, only once, " fine." He kissed my forehead and returned to get everyone. I ran quickly to my room, grabbed my hair brush and toothbrush and rushed back out to the training center. 

I could hear everyone talking before I got there, waves of voices, high and low, muffled with only one word here and one word there coming through. I slowly opened the facility door, trying not to disturb anyone's conversations. No matter though when I entered everyone stopped talking and just looked at me. I scanned the faces before me. I knew that what I was going to suggest was going to kill some of these people. There just was no other way to get Mara back and end this war. I cleared my throat and walked through the crowd of vampires, and wolves. Edward was standing beside Carlise. They both looked like they had been dragged through the mud. Esme was sitting on a chair, her hands on her lap, sadness weighing heavy on her face, no doubt she was thinking of her own daughters fate at the hands of Aro.

I stepped up onto the lift in the floor so that everyone could see me, and took a deep breath. Anger, desperation, sadness, and fear was flooding my senses. The room was clustered with emotion. It took me a moment to get my bearings. I focused on Edward, he was confused but more than that curious. He knew I had an idea, he also knew I promised him I wouldn't leave him again, I could only imagine what he was thinking.

" I know what I am about to ask of you all is more of a sacrifice than a retaliation, but if its executed right than it can be both." and another deep breath, " I have an idea, I really think this can work, but it's going to be tricky, hell its insane but it's all I can think of to get her back, and to hopefully end this." I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my hair brush, and my tooth brush. " The only way to get Mara back is to offer myself to him." That got the room buzzing, I waited for a moment and let everyone yell their No's, and fucking no's. Finally I stamped my food, loudly! " I know he wants us both, but I also know Aro is selfish and if he can consume my blood for his own personal gain than he would see that he can come after Mara later, he would think he would be invincible." 

Edward stepped forward, " If he kills you, if he fucking kills you he can kill us all, if he kills you ,you damn us all!"

" I know that's why he can't have me." Yeah that got everyone talking again, " Shut the fuck up please, let me finish."  taking the hairbrush and toothbrush I placed it on a chair, " My DNA, that is how we do it, if drinking me makes him powerful than it can make you all powerful."

At that Edward grabbed my arm and yanked me to him, " We aren't drinking you dry to win this war!"

" I am not asking anyone to drink me dry Edward." I ripped him from his grip and hopped back up. " We are going to give everyone enough of my blood to give them an edge to fight, but that's not all." I couldn't help but smile, not out of joy but out of realization. " We are going to do a little magic."

Rosalie stepped forward, " What kind of magic?"

She had been quiet since we got here I had thought she was contemplating whether she should run or not. " He will need to sense that what stands before him is me, my blood will give you not just the edge but the key into the kingdom sort of speak, my magic will give him the illusion that I personally will be standing before him."

Again Rose, " How!"

"By making you all look like me!"

Absolute fucking silence, like I can hear everyone breathe quiet. " I can do this, but like I said part sacrifice, part retaliation."

" Bella?" I turned to Esme

" What."

" I will do it."

Carlisle gently took Esme's shoulders, " Esme darling, there are plenty of us, I am sure if Bella can do what she says she can that we have enough volunteers to fool Aro in this endeavor." 

Esme smiled slightly and kissed Carlisle's cheek, " I love you so very much, but as much as I want to do this, I need to do this, it isn't a fight he is looking for, I know him, I can do this."

He shook his head with determination, " No, it's too dangerous." He looked at me frantically, " Bella, tell her the dangers!"

I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to stand next to Carlisle and tell him that I forbid it, but I couldn't, " I have told everyone its dangerous, downright suicidal but she does know Aro better than most, and that is a huge benefit."

Carlisle let out a loud growl, " He will kill her."

" Let's hope not." It wasn't much but it was all I could muster. Looking at Esme's eyes they were thankful. I understood her need to make this right, to be a part of the breaking and ruining of his hellish rule. For her children and her lover she needed to do this. 

" I will train everyone to move like me, he will be looking at mannerisms, little quirks and gestures that I make, so as uncomforting as it is, watch me."

" Will you be at the castle with all of us?" Of course Seth expected to go, his voice full of excitement.

" Absolutely, I will seek out Moriana, once she is out of the picture, his defenses will lessen dramatically."

" How will you kill her?" Another question

" The only way I can, with everything I've got."

Edward's face was exhausted, he just stared at me. " Where am I in all this?"

Of course he would ask that, I simply extended my hand to him offering my embrace, " You will be right where I am, always."

He took my hand and brought it to his lips, and never let go.

Chapter 36 ~ Fall To Grace

Edward and I laid for hours in bed, my heart was a mess, my mind wasn't any better. Part of me wanted to go to Jake's room and beat the shit out of him. Sleep was not going to be paying me a visit any time soon. I sat up and looked at Edward, " I am going to go take a walk, I just can't sleep."

" You want company?"

" You know laying here with you is making is very hard for me to focus on this mess in my head, so I think I need some time by myself."

He gently grabbed my hand and tugged me down to his lips, " Or we don't have to think at all Bella."

Every inch of my skin slowly tingled, it was like that every time he touched me, " You are making me a procrastinator."

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me on top of his body, " So procrastinate with me a little while longer."

His eyes sparkled with passion, lust, and desperation, all I could do was stare, " I love you so much Edward, I hate that I ever hurt anyone, but I'm disgusted I ever hurt you."

He caressed my face with his finger and wrapped a strand of my hair behind my ear, his lips separated, I was prepared to hear some words about how I am wonderful and not to worry and all the things he always says to me to make me feel better. But his response was not spoken, He lifted his head and put my mouth on his and took every part of me ravenously.

I didn't pull away, I gave myself to him, at first I thought he just needed it but I think I needed him more. His tongue explored every inch of my body like it was the first time he ever tasted me. His hands were like silk he made the ugly person I felt like inside beautiful. My heart ached for more even when he was inside of me. His arms enveloped around me, I wrapped my legs around him as tight as I could. Every thrust made me whole, every kiss made me stronger. 

We were like this for hours until the sun peeked through the blinds. My body was happily exhausted, my heart was pounding but my mind was clear. Edward just smiled at me, knowing that our love was safe. I would protect him with everything I had and he would do the same.

There was a little knock on the door Edward didn't even look up, " Not right now Doc."

Carlisle tapped again, " I am sorry to interrupt but we have a situation." 

There was no need to ask what it was I just looked at Edward he had a grave look on his face. " We will be right there." It was all he said, he was out of bed and dressed before I had a chance to sit up.

" Edward!"

He looked at me, " Its Mara, let's go."

My heart stopped, what could it be, oh god my perfect bliss turned into a horrific nightmare. Edward was out the door and down the hall, I grabbed my shoes and ran after him. Carlisle was beside me. " What's going on Carlise?"

" Please remain calm Bella, for everyone's sake, just come with me and I will show you."

We reached the training room, the large screen with all the indicator lights was down. " What am I looking at Carlisle, why am I looking at this again?"

Edward was on fire again, full blown rage, " God dammit somebody talk to me!"

Esme glided in, she placed her hands on my shoulder, " stay calm Bella please."

Edward had no voice, I just looked at him and crashed to the floor, " They have her don't they?"

Jake ran in slid down to me, " We will get her back Bella I swear it!"

His voice his fucking voice pushed me right over the edge, I stood up and threw him across the room, " Don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't even fucking think about me!" Suddenly my vision went dark, " I can't see anything!"

" Relax Bella." It was Zafrina

" Zaf, what the hell are you doing, give me my sight back." suddenly I saw Mara running around the flowers in the garden.

" You need to calm down Bella, think of her, feel her, you can  do it." Zaf's voice was relaxing

I breathed slowly, " Is she OK?"

Then I heard Carlisle speak, " From what we can see she is fine, but..."

" BUT WHAT?" I blurted

" Can someone restrain her or something I fear her reaction to this." Carlisle's voice was cracking

My vision was repaired and Edward was standing in front of me, his face was still grave but he was worried, clearly about me, " What is it Edward please, tell me."

He closed his eyes ,put his hands on my shoulders, " We didn't have any indicator light for Mara."

he was right, " Yes, so we don't know they have her!"

" Yes we do." Carlisle said

" Fine how?"

He was futzing with the remote in his hand, Edward shifted behind me clasping my torso with his arms, " Show her."

Hesitantly the doctor hit the switch and Emily's appeared on the screen, her eyes, swollen shut, dirt, blood and tears covered her face. " Oh sweet Jesus!"

Her voice was rough, fear rested on every syllable, " My darling sister, I am so sorry, we tried to keep her safe, we fought until no one was left, they were too strong, they were too many." She would try and swallow only to meet more pain. " I couldn't call you, Mara and I hid in the cellar and they would hear us, she was so brave, she listened to me she was as quiet as a mouse." As tears poured from her eyes, they poured from mine as well. " They busted through the doors, they had to break my arms I swear I wouldn't let her go and I didn't until they forced her from my hold, They took us to the castle, Bella, I am kept alive only to deliver this message to you that they have her, so since this is the last words of mine you will hear, know that I love you, and that every minute of my life was blessed because of you and Mara, thank Edward for trusting me with her, and I am so sorry I couldn't keep her safer, longer, Be brave beautiful Bella, be strong, Bring our little girl home, and kill these mother fuckers!" 

I saw a hand grab Emily's hair and push her head back with a dagger they sliced her throat, right before my eyes, A shrill of anger escaped my lips, I saw red! And then my father was in front of me on the screen, dagger in hand, he had a pleased look on his face, " One daughter down, one to go, come home pretty bird, come to papa!" And then nothing. 

I stared at the nothingness before me, slowly I my body withered all the way down to the floor, Edward all the while grabbing me, he fell with me as our hearts sank into a despair we had only ever dreaded, until now. They had our daughter!

Chapter 35 ~ Cheeky Wolf

I got to my room a bit shaken and exhausted, I hated when I let myself go like that. Plopping on the bed I grabbed a pillow and smashed it into my face and growled in frustration at myself. " God Bella get it together, you just started figuring yourself out." I vaguely heard the tap on the door, figuring it was Edward he would just waltz right in. The tap, turned into a knock and then a full on assault to the door moments later. " OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME IN!"

I peeked from above the pillow and there was Jake arms folded leaning on the door frame with an arrogant look on his face. I just wanted to smack him, " Why the hell are you here Jake?"

" Oh I am doing fine Bella, thank you for asking, No I am not hurt by your rude outburst earlier, and sure since I am such a great guy I forgive you."

I sat up glaring at him, " I am trying desperately to remember but were you always such an asshole?"

He grinned, " Thing about not having all your marbles or puzzle pieces Bells is that people are going to fuck with your reality, but not me, so yes I have always been an asshole."

" Well thanks for the honesty at least, I hope it didn't hurt you."

He slowly walked over and bent down right in front of me, " I have always been honest with you."

One thing my memory had such a hard time with was remembering Jake, I know we fought together and I can feel in my heart that we were close but at the same time I felt anger deep in my soul with him. " I am sure you believe you have always been honest with me, and I am going to have to take you on your word because my memory is shit."

" Sometimes I wish I couldn't remember." 

His eyes went to the floor, there was great sorrow in his face. Time and this war has torn everyone apart inside. It's easy to forget when your memory has been wiped, but for everyone else the years are worn like shrouds on their bodies. " Sorry Jake."

His head shot up like he heard gunfire, " For what?"

" For not knowing why I should apologize to you in the first place."

He shrugged, " I am sure it's hard for you, and I wouldn't worry about it."

I grabbed his hand, I wasn't sure why but my body just did it, " Why Jake, Why should I apologize?"

He stared at our hands together, took his pointer and gently caressed over my knuckles, finally he leaned down and laid a tender kiss upon them. He looked at me with a smile and put my hand back onto my lap. " Focus on the future Bella, please for all of us, the past will consume you if you let it."

" Will you tell me someday?"

" We live through this and win, then.... nope, not even then."

I laughed, there was something familiar about his cheeky attitude. " OK Jake I get it."

He stood and backed up and we both abruptly stopped laughing when we saw a stone faced Edward looming at us. 

" Edward is everything alright?"

He was glaring at Jake like he was his next kill or something. Jake didn't back down, his stare was just as fierce. " Guys just chill please, let's let what happened in the kitchen go, we are all good."

It was like I wasn't in the room, So I got between them, grabbed their collars, " I'm fucking speaking, acknowledge!"

Edward looked at me quickly and then back to Jake, " Why is he in your bedroom?"

Jealous! He was Jealous, " He came to talk and smooth things over Edward." I turned to Jake, " Sure you don't want to talk about the past now?"

I could see him clenching his jaw, " Nope!" He said through gritted teeth.

Edward interjected, " Time to go Dog!"

" HEY HEY HEY, Chill out what's with the name calling?" I was stunned it seemed a little out of character for Edward to resort to childish playground bullying.

He was now glaring at me, " He shouldn't be here."

Jake was completely silent, I didn't understand really why because normally he was coming at people with witty comebacks, I just rolled my eyes. " Edward, green is an ugly color on you." A low growl came from Edward, " What the fuck?" I looked at Jake, " Hey you should go." He just nodded, slipped past me but gave Edward a shoulder check on his way out.

After he left I turned to Edward his eyes were narrowed, he could freeze water with his gaze. " Start talking Edward, NOW!"

" What do you want me to say Bella, how awesome it was to see you two so cuddly together in your room, on the bed where you and I fuck?"

The cruelty in his words, his anger was so off base. " Don't speak to me like that first of all and second, I can have anyone I want in here, and you should trust me not to FUCK anyone else!"

His hands were in fists, he was a raging man, burning inside. " Why was he here?" He asked in a angering whisper.

" Just talking, smoothing things over like I said before." 

He hung his head, " I didn't like seeing him in here with you."

" Yeah that's obvious, but why, I mean we have been traveling with him for weeks now and just now you don't like him here with me?"

He reached over and grabbed my shoulders, his was looking at me with such an intensity, " Bella, his thoughts.."

" His thoughts what Edward, tell me."

" You can't remember a lot of your past, that's good but he remembers it all, and there was a time, it was a dark time for you, we were deep in the war, we got separated, you all thought I was dead, I get it, you were out of yourself I understand I am not mad at you."

I got it, it all clicked, " Oh My God!!! Did I sleep with Jake."

" You were deep in the darkness Bella, he took total advantage of the situation, he let lust take over not sound mind."

I slinked down onto the bed, " Why would I do that?"

" Desperation, hope, but my guess was to feel anything then the anger that was sucking the life out of you."

I put my head in my hands, " I am so sorry Edward, did I tell you?"

"When I found you, you didn't have to I read his thoughts, you never denied it though, I knew how sorry you were, I also knew how sorry he wasn't."

I jumped up wrapped my arms around him, kissed every inch of his face, " I love you, I love you I love you, please know this please, I need you to."

He smiled tenderly, then took my head in his hands and kissed me passionately. " I love you My Bella, forever."