Chapter 34 ~ Keeping It Together

I walked out of the garden in a trance, my mind kept flashing me images of Esme crying on the floor begging for her children and her lover's life. Followed by images of her is a blood soaked wedding dress, " I am such a fool."

Edwards loving arms embraced me from behind and he pulled me close, " you are a lot of things Bella, but a fool is not one of them."

Without separating myself from his arms I whirled around to face him, " Edward he fooled everyone, and so many people had their lives destroyed because of him, it just makes me wonder who or what else will come up and bite me in the ass." In that moment I thought of Maggie. " Poor Maggie, I haven't checked on her in awhile, this is probably devastating to her."

He smiled at me lovingly and kissed my forehead, " then we should probably go pay her a little visit."

We walked down the hall toward her room, as we got closer we heard a beautiful melody, I looked at Edward, " Yes its Maggie, she is magnificent."

I stood by her door for a few minutes just getting lost in her magical song, I must have been leaning on the door because when she abruptly stopped and opened it I fell forward. " Bella, what on heavens are you doing?"

I sheepishly smiled, " Hi Maggie, I'm so sorry I was coming to talk to you when your music stopped me dead in my tracks, it was amazing."

She chuckled, " Oh sweet child, some things never change, you used to sit outside my living quarters at the castle when you were a child and listen to me playing the piano."

As I lifted myself off the floor, Edward stepped inside, " Hey Mags."

" Oh hello Edward, so tell me what do owe for you two kids stopping by?"

Edward gave me a tight smile and urged me to go on by gesturing, " Well Maggie, I was just in the garden you see, and I was , well I wasn't really doing anything, something just, not something someone...."

" Oh you aren't seriously getting all bumbly child are you?" Maggie said while laughing. " Just spit it out, and stand up straight!"

I immediately perked up, I took  a deep breath and blurted it out, " you told me once before that my birth was what transferred my father into a great man, but recent developments shows a whole different picture and I was just wondering if he performed some magic on you or you knew and were just hiding it from me?" I exhaled relieved I had said it.

Maggie stood staring at me, only her eyes were shifting from me to Edward and back again. " Ok I can see you have been overloaded with life lately, sit down." 

Without hesitation I sat on her bed, Edward came and sat beside me. I looked at him he was surveying the room, looking at her pictures and such. I knew he knew all she was going to say but was just there to support me. And unless it was something I needed to know he NEVER exposed peoples thoughts to me.

" Bella my sweet child, if Aro used magic on me I doubt I would know, I didn't even know Moriana was still alive until recently." She pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of me. " My one and only concern was always you Bella, nothing else really mattered to me." She released that typical sigh when you don't really know what to say but you wish your words would heal the hurt. " At this point the past is the past and the future must be changed, and Bella?" I looked up at her. " You are the person to do it, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that you must."

All I could do was smile, " I know you are Maggie, I love you, it doesn't matter who gave birth to me, I am just glad it was you who raised me." she grabbed my hand and gently kissed it.

" Now don't worry about me I am doing fine, you go and work, strategize or whatever the good doctor has you doing down there, I will see you later, OK?" 

I got up and hugged her, " I hear you loud and clear Maggie."

" Good now go." She shuffled Edward and I off and shut the door, and moments later her music filled the halls again. 

As Edward and I rounded the corner we heard some dishes clanging and loud laughter. I stopped and pulled on his arm, " wait a second."

" Yeah OK Seth you can take on the vamps all on your own?"

" Absolutely Jake, you know I'm a tough one I don't care what anyone says."

" I just think if there are going to be a bunch of wolves going in with Bella and Edward in the first wave it shouldn't be you with them."

" And I am guessing you think it should be you Jake?"

" No it WILL be me and the Doc said I can choose the five others who come with me, sorry buddy you are still too little."

Something crashed against the floor and a bowl rolled out of the kitchen. I scooped it up and walked in the room. " Hey guys what's going on?"

Seth rolled his eyes, folded his arms and plopped down in his chair. " Well Bella as you can see Seth here is a child, and I don't feel children should play with scissors."

I nodded, " And by scissors you mean?"

" He wants to go in with the first wave, it's too dangerous, he will be slaughtered in seconds."

I agreed Seth was young, but there was something about his spirit I really liked, " It's not about size Jake," I jokingly elbowed him in the ribs.

" Yeah ha ha very funny Bella, I know that, but his mentality is all off."

Seth stood up, " I am right here Jake for God sake you are talking like I am not even in the room."

I raised my eyebrows, " He has a point Jake, I mean seriously look at me, I am tiny but I could incinerate you with a snap of my fingers, and as for the mentality, we are all fucking crazy so just stow that away."

" Bella are you seriously thinking he should go?" Jake was getting very agitated he took an aggressive step toward me. " You are fucking psycho if you think I am sending him near the castle."

Edward quickly got between me and Jake, " Listen Jake back off, Bella is giving her opinion, if this is going to be a problem then maybe you and I can go down to the arena and dish it out."

Jake let out a single laugh, " No I get it, she is all about the slaughter of the innocent." Jake barely finished his sentence when Edward slammed him against the wall.

" JAKE, EDWARD ENOUGH, I screamed using the air I pushed them off each other crashing them into chairs on the opposite ends of the room. " I will talk to the doctor, and I and I alone will decide who comes in the first wave, period the end, got it?"

Both men just nodded. " Good now if you'll excuse me." I left the kitchen in a huff, looking around for Carlisle.

I was so enraged, I couldn't believe anyone was excited about fighting Aro and his dumbass minions, and I couldn't believe that the doc was throwing responsibilities around to those who clearly shouldn't even handle a potato gun. I raced to his office, I didn't even knock I was way too angry, I punched right through the door, splinters of wood flew in every direction. Carlisle flew back in his chair and looked at me with slight terror. He put his hands up in front of him in defense. I took a step inside, I heard hissing and growls and quickly realized it was own. It was fleeting but I glanced at my reflection in a hanging mirror, the person was on fire, literally her finger tips had flames spider webbing up her arms. Her pitch black hair was blowing upward and her eyes were a horrifying abyss. Behind her was Edward, his face was full of worry, " Bella, my love, please focus, think of the good not the bad, you can control it, you are not your father or your mother, just breathe." 

It was me, the nightmare reflecting was me! " Oh my God." Immediately my body calmed, the flames extinguished and I watched myself transform back. " Carlisle I am sorry," tears filled my eyes I looked at Edward, " I lost myself, you found me." I grabbed him and held him as if he was a life vest.

" It's OK Bella, you got it under control, remember you are most powerful when you are happy, you don't want to be what your father wanted you to be."

Carlisle slowly got up and grabbed his papers, he wasn't scared but he was leery. " I am so unbelievably sorry doc, I came here to yell at you honestly I didn't mean to...." 

He gave a stoic smile shook his head, " It's quite alright Bella, are you alright now?"

"Yes," I flattened my hair and sat on the sofa.

" Now what has you so, well upset?"

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself before speaking, " you have to stop putting idiots in charge."

He chuckled a bit, " you are referring to the wolves?"

" Jake mostly, but yeah."

He looked down a piece of paper and then placed it in front of me. " Do you see all those names?"

I looked quickly, in tiny writing was about five hundred names, " yeah what about them?"

" Five hundred vampires are in volterra, these are the names," then he handed me another piece of paper, " two hundred and seventeen gypsies," and lastly he handed me three pieces of paper, " One thousand and fifteen children in the dungeons of that castle, being trained to kill."

My head jolted up " Children?"

"Yes, now I understand you think Jake is an idiot, but he isn't he has experience and he has the respect of his pack, we need him."

" Fine Carlisle, but I want to see his plan and I want to be in the loop from here on in." It wasn't put in question form, it was pretty matter of fact. He nodded and I got up, stepped over the debris and headed to my room to lay down.