Chapter 31 ~ Longing

Days passed by quickly, Edward and Carlisle spent the entire time introducing me to everyone. It was suffocating. They hugged, kissed, and praised me non-stop. One woman grabbed my arm like it was a life raft and repeatedly thanked me for coming to their aide. Another man said he prayed for the blessed angel who freed them once before. They thought me to be like Moses, but I was no saint and all I wanted to do was scream.  I ran down one of the corridors and slammed the door to an empty room, slid down to the ground head in hands and wept. 

Moments later I heard a light tapping, “Bella are you alright?” Naturally Edward would follow me.

“No, I am far from alright.” He pushed the door open, slid beside me and cupped me into him.

“It must be so difficult for you, I can hear their thoughts but you can feel the pain they are in.” He gently rocked me as he spoke in a calming voice. “It must be torturous.”

“Edward, I can’t be this person they want me to be, for what they are suffering from I can’t mend them.” The tears flowed freely as I spoke.

He caressed my cheek and smiled, “You being here is everything to them, you fought beside them before and promised to them you would return and so you have.” He leaned in and kissed me softly. “Perhaps we should distance you from them for a while.”

I wiped my tears, “ No Edward, it will be far worse when I go face to face with my parents, if I can’t handle overbearing pain then I won’t survive them.”

Edward grabbed both sides of my face with a sort of madness, “You will never go face to face with them without an army behind you ever again Bella! Ever!”

His eyes were frantic, worry shadowed his gaze, “I promise I will not go alone Edward.” I kissed him with all the passion I had in me. The love he had for me was addicting. After being surrounded by such depression and pain all I wanted to do was melt my body into Edwards and hide there forever.

He felt my need to feel anything other than dark, his hands danced with the thrusting of my body. He was as eager as I was.  Our clothes were in pieces in seconds. I grabbed his rock hard cock in my hands and forcefully pushed him into me.  He lifted me up and crashed me against the wall. He fucked me till I forgot everything but my name and my need for his touch. 

We were inseparable, bombs could have been going off outside and it wouldn’t have mattered. This, right here and now was what mattered. I saw the sun begin to peak through the blinds. We had been at it for hours. Edward began to laugh, he gently kissed my forehead and laid me onto the bed, “You need to rest awhile.” I thought he was going to go, but he just curled up next to me. 

I drifted to sleep fast, and I dreamt, not a nightmare but dream that was full of peace, prosperity, and hope. Everyone was happy laughing and drinking together. A utopia, there was no pain, no sadness. I walked through the beautiful garden Esme had on her front lawn. The tips of my fingers caressing the velvet roses, I giggled when the baby’s breath rubbed against the palm of my hand.  I heard Edward’s voice, it was like a whisper in the wind, “Bella find your peace and you will find your way.”

I looked around, but everyone was gone, the clouds were rolling in, “the darkness!” I felt my heart begin to race with fear. The more terrified I felt the worse the storm turned into. “Find your peace Bella,” I repeated Edward’s words. I calmed myself, I breathed and as I calmed so did the skies. I felt happiness replace fear and my nightmare return to the dream.

My eyes flew open and I sat up, “Bella?” Edward was still next to me; he sat up and embraced me, “Are you alright?”

I turned to him and smiled, “I am perfect,” Laughter escaped my lips, “I know why I have not been able to push out the power inside me.”

Edwards face lit up,” Really, why?”

“Because I was trying to get angry, I was trying to summon the darkness because that is what everyone called it, the reason my mother is no good to Aro is because she is dark, where Mara and I are a light, we are the yin to his yang, mix them together and you have the perfect weapon, you have it all, the good and the bad.” I hopped out of the bed and spun around. “It’s so wonderful Edward, to know.”

He grabbed me and swirled me around the room,” I always believed you would figure it out.”

“It makes sense, I saw burns on my mother, Aro likely tortured her because her blood was worthless, he made her so submissive, and he figured it out.”  I smiled coyly at Edward, “It was you who showed me you know?”

He curved his lips and furrowed his brow in confusion, “Me, how?”

“You calmed me, and I dreamed. I heard you whisper to find my peace and I will find my way.” I could see he didn’t get it, “Edward you are my peace!”

He leaned in and kissed me, “and you are mine.”

I quickly fixed our clothes and dressed myself, “I need to try it out, don’t dilly dally Mr. Cullen.” I winked and raced out of the room eagerly. “Let’s see what I can do now!”