Chapter 39 ~ Release

  After I shut the door Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed with a smirk on his face that said,' Ha Ha you are so easy to fool.' I couldn't help but smack him right upside the head.

" What the fuck Bella, what was that for?" yeah he wasn't smirking anymore.

" I am on edge Edward, I don't need little jokes, and surprises!" I snapped

" Really? Are you serious right now Bella? This whole operation is all you, you run this show so you are constantly shocking the hell out of me." He was irritated. " On top of it you have people all over here following us, you, whatever, and lets not forget that I am on edge just as much as you are, GOD FUCKING DAMMIT BELLA!" 

So clearly Edward had reached his limit, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He had been holding it all in for so long. Scared I would snap and turn the world to ash, watching and waiting to see his daughter, and naturally when everything went down and we all witnessed Emily get slaughtered by my father and told that OUR daughter was in their hands, he held it together.... for me. So I would give him this, it was his turn. I took a step back against the door and let him go.

" Bella, I get it you are getting flashes and feelings of a past that existed, you did things you had to do, but at the end of the day, you got to forget... I didn't." He ran his fingers through his hair with purpose. "Me? well I got to know that you were out there somewhere, the love of my forever, with out me but hopefully happy, never knowing of me, and our daughter somewhere to. No mind wipe for me though, just a torturous forced marriage and a useless existence I couldn't escape from."

I never really thought about his sacrifice much. Now I just felt selfish and all consuming. Could it be a side effect of having Satan as a father and a succubus for a mother? I desperately wanted to grab Edward hug him, kiss him make him feel how much I love him, but he needed to release this... all of it, so I would wait.

" Bella, when I found out you were in the same town I lived in I was terrified and electrified. I wanted to know you but I wasn't allowed. Watching from a distance only takes you so far before you want to com bust. You were so innocent, totally washed clean of all the sin that flowed through your veins. So I kept my distance, until the itch of you ate through my flesh and I had to touch you to relieve my suffering." He chuckled a bit in the memory. " Zaf yelled at me for a long time when I told her I needed to talk to you. Kept saying if I did we would all die, you would remember and that would be the end of it all." Finally he looks at me... " Then you walked into the bar and my blood felt like acid, the pain was unbearable, and I knew I was screwed, and for a brief moment I became a selfish prick, I spilled my drink down your back." He started walking toward me, as if I were prey. " All those nights you worked late for Tanya, you have no idea how I wanted to grab you, pull you to the floor and fuck the ever loving shit out of you, it took every ounce of strength I had in my body to walk away."

He was literally an inch from my face, this man I would die a thousand deaths for, but he looked like he was a million miles from here, recounting everything. " But that night, I had to talk to you, what harm is there in a drink right?" he shrugged. " But you, your skin, your smell, your energy sucked me in like a tornado, and tore me apart, I knew that I wasn't going to ever leave you again." Gently he caressed my cheek with the pad of his thumb. " It was too late, that little selfish mistake set off the domino effect of disasters, there was no going back, but Bella you know what?"

I couldn't talk so I just nodded and possibly grunted something. " It was worth it." He took his hands and put them on my hips, " Your touch was worth it." He leaned in and kissed my forehead, " Your mind was worth it." He placed a hand on my chest, " Your sacrifice was worth it, and I know that sounds horrible but, hiding and fighting from what we are together was not a life worth living." 

It made sense, he needed to lift the veil from my eyes, and although at the time it was careless it turned out being the best thing he could do. I watched as Edward's eyes shifted to my lips and like magnets we connected, his kiss claimed every inch of me. He wrapped his arms around me. We embraced each other fiercely as if our lives depended on it. This wasn't Edward the man, this was Edward the monster that lives within him. He pulled back from me for just a moment, his gaze was dark, full of hunger, I heard him hiss as he took his hand and caressed my neck. He slowly turned my head and with gentle force, sunk his teeth into me.  I let out gasp and was about to shove him across the room when suddenly my body became warm. My heart exploded like a box of fireworks. Pure pleasure surged throughout my body making me shiver all the way down to my core. I grabbed two fist fulls of his hair and held him there, I didn't care if he took every drop of my blood if it meant I could feel this feeling forever. But he released me, he looked at me with those amber eyes and a smile that screamed sex! I leaned in and licked the lingering blood from his lips.

" Oh Bella, you taste amazing." 

I knew Edward was shattered, he finally broke and I decided to make it my sole purpose for the night to put him back together. I put on my all too eager game face, and smiled back at him. " Now you have sin coursing through your veins." He shook his head, amusement painted across his face.  

" I want to taste all of you."

Yeah that did it, I grabbed onto Edward's shoulders, with my leg and kicked the legs right out from under him and he crashed to the floor. He looked at me in shock. I straddled myself on his lap, and smiled a winning kind of smile, " what were you saying about pulling me to the floor and fucking the shit out of me?" His smile started small, and then he was beaming like a child at Christmas.

" Alright Bella but...." in a fluid movement he flipped me  so that he was now towering over me. " If I'm fucking you then I am on top."

Edward wanted to play, I knew he was desperately looking for a distraction from his thoughts. I knew all too well how the mind could manipulate a moment and turn it into a nightmare. So, I buried everything, my fears, my worries all of it, there was only Edward. I lifted my head grabbed his lower lip with my mouth and sucked, his low growl was a welcome sound. " Alright let's play!"

His hand hovered above my breasts for what seemed like an eternity, his eyes were glued to mine, I knew what he was seeing because it was the same thing I saw in him.... everything! Our love, fear, joy, and uncertain future. It is this moment here that mattered. We didn't know what tomorrow would bring or the day after. In the end who would win? The now was our focus and he saw that in my eyes. With his finger he tore through my shirt like it was tissue paper. He laid his soft lips upon the valley between my breasts, and with his teeth gripped my bra and snapped it open. " beautiful." It was a whisper and just a simple single word, but it was a prayer to my ears.

I stroked his hair with my fingers as he tasted every inch of my breasts, his fingers were tapping on my shoulder, a pattern, bump, bump, bump, faster and faster. " What is that?" I asked through heavy breath. 

He looks up through long dark lashes, and his amber eyes look at my damned eyes and over to his fingers, " The most amazing sound in the world Bella." Obviously my face showed my confusing. " Your heartbeat." I had never thought about how I had a heartbeat and he didn't and how that sound would be music to my ears when I laid on his chest. " You Bella are truly the most unique and most radiant creature on this planet." And just like that I fall in love with him all over again.

He didn't fuck the shit out of me on that floor, he made love to me on that floor. His tongue tasted every part of my body, his hands explored every inch of my skin, and I gave him more of myself then I have given anyone. We climaxed together, and laid wrapped around each other until the sun came up, our eyes didn't part from each others gaze once. Skin on skin for hours, the intensity made me want to cry. But I didn't, this wasn't about me this was about Edward, and I was strong for him, I was unselfish, and I was his.