Chapter 8 ~ Information Overload

My head turns at the sound of cars driving up to the cabin. “Who is that?” Alice rushes to my side with a wet cloth, “That would be everyone Bella, but they don’t want to hurt you they are only here to help you.” I grab the rag, quickly washing my face clean of the blood. “But my eyes, will they all know?” She smiles at me reassuringly, “They know why they are being summoned, no need to hide.” Jasper walks to the door opening it wide. “Alice, who by all do you mean?” She takes my hand and guides me to the coach, “Some you have met, but we can answer everything for you and be here in case,” her words start to drift. “ If I what Alice, freak out, try and stab myself again, because the last time that happened Edward just stared at me like a daft fool and ran away, what an asshole.” I can feel my blood boiling anger seeping through every inch of my being. “Oh he just makes me so angry, why is it he makes me want to rip my flesh off?”  Alice lifts her hand, a worried smile upon her face, “Please try and relax, please.”  She then points to the door; I turn to see Edward in the doorway, worry and longing painted all over his face, his perfect face.  I want to smile, ecstatic to see him, but refuse to let him see how his presence makes me feel, so I swallow, roll my eyes and turn from him plopping myself on the couch beside Alice.

“ Good afternoon Alice, Bella,” the sound of his voice is like silk being rubbed along my skin, it sends a pleasant shiver up my spine, but again I simply nod and shoot him a quick smile.  He approaches Alice and me. “Bella, I am so very sorry for how I acted, if we can please just step outside and talk briefly before the room fills up?” I wanted to jump into his arms and tell him to take me far from here and he can talk to me all he wanted, in between the breathless kisses, but I just couldn’t shake the anger. “No, Edward I think it best you back the fuck away from me before I go all exorcist on your ass.” He complies without question, which pisses me off even more, “Men,” Alice giggles, and I see the room getting tinier as more people enter. I stay in my seat just staring at the floor, making no eye contact, repulsed by the site of myself only imagining what they all think. I can feel Edward staring at me the entire time, not giving him even a side glance, my legs shake with impatience, I was about to run from the room when I hear someone clear their throat to get everyone’s attention. Quickly I look up just to see who it was, but the shock just makes my eyes wide, Zafrina just a few feet from me. I haven’t seen her since the threatening confrontation in our apartment when  she stormed away.

“Well well boys and girls we meet again, and we have Bella to thank for this rather unfortunate reunion… Again.”  She just gives me a sarcastic smile. “Zaf just shut it, that’s not going to help anything if you decide to go bitchzilla on her, besides if there’s a fight Bella would tear you apart.” The redheaded dimple faced waitress from Titillating Charlie’s, gives me a wink as she defends me to whom I assumed was a good friend, but clearly Zafrina hates me, No more than I hate myself I am sure. Slowly I rise from the couch, still focusing on the ground. A few people step back as if they thought I was going to attack them. I just raise my hands like I was surrendering, which in a sense I was. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I am not sure who in this room I have already hurt, what I do see are familiar faces.” I point to the red head girl, “like you, your Maggie right?” She nods and beams a truly happy smile. “What’s your deal, why were you in a dive bar a few days ago and now you are here, what are you to me?”  She gingerly walks toward me, and begins humming, that all too familiar lullaby I remember falling asleep to as a baby. My face relaxes, my heart flutters, I want to cry but I hold back so the blood will not frighten her. “You were my nannie weren’t you?” She rests her hand on my shoulder, again simply nods and continues the lullaby.  The emotions are too hard to control and I feel a scarlet tear glide down my cheek.  Lifting my hand to wipe it, she stops me. “No sweet child, do not hide who you are, it never mattered to me,” I couldn’t help it I embraced her and sobbed. I tried to cuddle my entire body into hers, hoping she would protect me from all the evil swimming inside me.  “Oh sweet Bella, my dear child, Mags is here, no danger shall come to you this day.” We slip down to the couch, she gently rocks me as I drift to sleep, her songs and arms sheltering all that is bad from touching me. 

When I wake she is still holding me, I can see through the blur of sleep everyone conversing and pacing, waiting for me I am guessing.  I never wanted to wake, just stay in the dreamless sleep Maggie was holding me in. But alas I cannot hide from what I am and so I sit up on the couch. Sighing as every pair of eyes turns their gaze upon me. “Sorry I fell asleep,” some murmurs but Maggie just reassures me and tells me to stop apologizing. Alice hands me some water, “Bella, we thought it would be best for you if we did a sort of Q and A, would that help?” Finally someone has a solution to organizing this chaos. “Yes Alice that is a perfect idea.” She has a pleased look, and then walks to stand beside Jasper.  Edward finally stopped looking at me and was sitting on the counter whispering with Zafrina. Again the intense anger feels like its crawling just beneath my skin. “So can I ask the first question?” Jasper steps forward, “that is precisely how it will work; there is not really anything we can ask you that we don’t already know the answer to.” Raising my brows in the realization he is right.

“Fantastic,” I place the water down, turn my attention to Zafrina and Edward. “Tell me why you hate me ebony goddess?” They both turn and give me their undivided attention. “Are you sure that is the first question you want to ask Bella?” Her tone is rough, dripping in hatred. “I am positive, let’s hear it” She shifts on the stool. “Very well then,” She sweeps the room with her eyes, I think to see if there are objections, but no one speaks.  “The short version, you murdered my entire family, and when I came to destroy you, you shattered my body into a billion pieces, Aro put your ebony goddess back together, and told me if I was to stay in one piece I was to shut my mouth and watch over you, If I so much as harmed a hair on your head he would see to it no one would put me back together, ever.” There was that silence again, that holy shit I am the devil kind of silence. “Oh Zafrina, I am, “I stop knowing a simple apology will never mend the wounds I have inflicted. “ Why would I do such a thing I don’t understand?”  She hops off the stool, staring me down, “Because the evil that lives inside of you takes no prisoners, does not know of free will, and sacrifices anything because it entertaining.” I am overcome with disbelief and disgust, “Why did Aro keep me alive, why not kill me I don’t want to live like that, like the thing I was before.” At first no one answers, and then Maggie breaks the silence. “  Oh Bella, many have tried to kill you, Caius built an army to destroy you, but like a breeze in the trees you decimated hundreds of thousands of his soldiers, but you should know that many stood shoulder to shoulder with you, because that darkness within yourself wasn’t who you truly were.”  I look around the room, now all eyes on me, “I am a murderer Maggie, a cold hearted murderer, who could possible love that and want to protect it?” Through my pounding heart, and the angry buzzing in my ears, Edward’s voice broke through, “Me Bella, I love you and would die a hundred times over for you.” That was it I could take no more, I raced up the stairs rushing into the nearest room, slammed the door, buried my face in a pillow and screamed, until my voice was hoarse and the darkness devoured my pain.