Chapter 35 ~ Cheeky Wolf

I got to my room a bit shaken and exhausted, I hated when I let myself go like that. Plopping on the bed I grabbed a pillow and smashed it into my face and growled in frustration at myself. " God Bella get it together, you just started figuring yourself out." I vaguely heard the tap on the door, figuring it was Edward he would just waltz right in. The tap, turned into a knock and then a full on assault to the door moments later. " OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME IN!"

I peeked from above the pillow and there was Jake arms folded leaning on the door frame with an arrogant look on his face. I just wanted to smack him, " Why the hell are you here Jake?"

" Oh I am doing fine Bella, thank you for asking, No I am not hurt by your rude outburst earlier, and sure since I am such a great guy I forgive you."

I sat up glaring at him, " I am trying desperately to remember but were you always such an asshole?"

He grinned, " Thing about not having all your marbles or puzzle pieces Bells is that people are going to fuck with your reality, but not me, so yes I have always been an asshole."

" Well thanks for the honesty at least, I hope it didn't hurt you."

He slowly walked over and bent down right in front of me, " I have always been honest with you."

One thing my memory had such a hard time with was remembering Jake, I know we fought together and I can feel in my heart that we were close but at the same time I felt anger deep in my soul with him. " I am sure you believe you have always been honest with me, and I am going to have to take you on your word because my memory is shit."

" Sometimes I wish I couldn't remember." 

His eyes went to the floor, there was great sorrow in his face. Time and this war has torn everyone apart inside. It's easy to forget when your memory has been wiped, but for everyone else the years are worn like shrouds on their bodies. " Sorry Jake."

His head shot up like he heard gunfire, " For what?"

" For not knowing why I should apologize to you in the first place."

He shrugged, " I am sure it's hard for you, and I wouldn't worry about it."

I grabbed his hand, I wasn't sure why but my body just did it, " Why Jake, Why should I apologize?"

He stared at our hands together, took his pointer and gently caressed over my knuckles, finally he leaned down and laid a tender kiss upon them. He looked at me with a smile and put my hand back onto my lap. " Focus on the future Bella, please for all of us, the past will consume you if you let it."

" Will you tell me someday?"

" We live through this and win, then.... nope, not even then."

I laughed, there was something familiar about his cheeky attitude. " OK Jake I get it."

He stood and backed up and we both abruptly stopped laughing when we saw a stone faced Edward looming at us. 

" Edward is everything alright?"

He was glaring at Jake like he was his next kill or something. Jake didn't back down, his stare was just as fierce. " Guys just chill please, let's let what happened in the kitchen go, we are all good."

It was like I wasn't in the room, So I got between them, grabbed their collars, " I'm fucking speaking, acknowledge!"

Edward looked at me quickly and then back to Jake, " Why is he in your bedroom?"

Jealous! He was Jealous, " He came to talk and smooth things over Edward." I turned to Jake, " Sure you don't want to talk about the past now?"

I could see him clenching his jaw, " Nope!" He said through gritted teeth.

Edward interjected, " Time to go Dog!"

" HEY HEY HEY, Chill out what's with the name calling?" I was stunned it seemed a little out of character for Edward to resort to childish playground bullying.

He was now glaring at me, " He shouldn't be here."

Jake was completely silent, I didn't understand really why because normally he was coming at people with witty comebacks, I just rolled my eyes. " Edward, green is an ugly color on you." A low growl came from Edward, " What the fuck?" I looked at Jake, " Hey you should go." He just nodded, slipped past me but gave Edward a shoulder check on his way out.

After he left I turned to Edward his eyes were narrowed, he could freeze water with his gaze. " Start talking Edward, NOW!"

" What do you want me to say Bella, how awesome it was to see you two so cuddly together in your room, on the bed where you and I fuck?"

The cruelty in his words, his anger was so off base. " Don't speak to me like that first of all and second, I can have anyone I want in here, and you should trust me not to FUCK anyone else!"

His hands were in fists, he was a raging man, burning inside. " Why was he here?" He asked in a angering whisper.

" Just talking, smoothing things over like I said before." 

He hung his head, " I didn't like seeing him in here with you."

" Yeah that's obvious, but why, I mean we have been traveling with him for weeks now and just now you don't like him here with me?"

He reached over and grabbed my shoulders, his was looking at me with such an intensity, " Bella, his thoughts.."

" His thoughts what Edward, tell me."

" You can't remember a lot of your past, that's good but he remembers it all, and there was a time, it was a dark time for you, we were deep in the war, we got separated, you all thought I was dead, I get it, you were out of yourself I understand I am not mad at you."

I got it, it all clicked, " Oh My God!!! Did I sleep with Jake."

" You were deep in the darkness Bella, he took total advantage of the situation, he let lust take over not sound mind."

I slinked down onto the bed, " Why would I do that?"

" Desperation, hope, but my guess was to feel anything then the anger that was sucking the life out of you."

I put my head in my hands, " I am so sorry Edward, did I tell you?"

"When I found you, you didn't have to I read his thoughts, you never denied it though, I knew how sorry you were, I also knew how sorry he wasn't."

I jumped up wrapped my arms around him, kissed every inch of his face, " I love you, I love you I love you, please know this please, I need you to."

He smiled tenderly, then took my head in his hands and kissed me passionately. " I love you My Bella, forever."

Chapter 34 ~ Keeping It Together

I walked out of the garden in a trance, my mind kept flashing me images of Esme crying on the floor begging for her children and her lover's life. Followed by images of her is a blood soaked wedding dress, " I am such a fool."

Edwards loving arms embraced me from behind and he pulled me close, " you are a lot of things Bella, but a fool is not one of them."

Without separating myself from his arms I whirled around to face him, " Edward he fooled everyone, and so many people had their lives destroyed because of him, it just makes me wonder who or what else will come up and bite me in the ass." In that moment I thought of Maggie. " Poor Maggie, I haven't checked on her in awhile, this is probably devastating to her."

He smiled at me lovingly and kissed my forehead, " then we should probably go pay her a little visit."

We walked down the hall toward her room, as we got closer we heard a beautiful melody, I looked at Edward, " Yes its Maggie, she is magnificent."

I stood by her door for a few minutes just getting lost in her magical song, I must have been leaning on the door because when she abruptly stopped and opened it I fell forward. " Bella, what on heavens are you doing?"

I sheepishly smiled, " Hi Maggie, I'm so sorry I was coming to talk to you when your music stopped me dead in my tracks, it was amazing."

She chuckled, " Oh sweet child, some things never change, you used to sit outside my living quarters at the castle when you were a child and listen to me playing the piano."

As I lifted myself off the floor, Edward stepped inside, " Hey Mags."

" Oh hello Edward, so tell me what do owe for you two kids stopping by?"

Edward gave me a tight smile and urged me to go on by gesturing, " Well Maggie, I was just in the garden you see, and I was , well I wasn't really doing anything, something just, not something someone...."

" Oh you aren't seriously getting all bumbly child are you?" Maggie said while laughing. " Just spit it out, and stand up straight!"

I immediately perked up, I took  a deep breath and blurted it out, " you told me once before that my birth was what transferred my father into a great man, but recent developments shows a whole different picture and I was just wondering if he performed some magic on you or you knew and were just hiding it from me?" I exhaled relieved I had said it.

Maggie stood staring at me, only her eyes were shifting from me to Edward and back again. " Ok I can see you have been overloaded with life lately, sit down." 

Without hesitation I sat on her bed, Edward came and sat beside me. I looked at him he was surveying the room, looking at her pictures and such. I knew he knew all she was going to say but was just there to support me. And unless it was something I needed to know he NEVER exposed peoples thoughts to me.

" Bella my sweet child, if Aro used magic on me I doubt I would know, I didn't even know Moriana was still alive until recently." She pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of me. " My one and only concern was always you Bella, nothing else really mattered to me." She released that typical sigh when you don't really know what to say but you wish your words would heal the hurt. " At this point the past is the past and the future must be changed, and Bella?" I looked up at her. " You are the person to do it, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that you must."

All I could do was smile, " I know you are Maggie, I love you, it doesn't matter who gave birth to me, I am just glad it was you who raised me." she grabbed my hand and gently kissed it.

" Now don't worry about me I am doing fine, you go and work, strategize or whatever the good doctor has you doing down there, I will see you later, OK?" 

I got up and hugged her, " I hear you loud and clear Maggie."

" Good now go." She shuffled Edward and I off and shut the door, and moments later her music filled the halls again. 

As Edward and I rounded the corner we heard some dishes clanging and loud laughter. I stopped and pulled on his arm, " wait a second."

" Yeah OK Seth you can take on the vamps all on your own?"

" Absolutely Jake, you know I'm a tough one I don't care what anyone says."

" I just think if there are going to be a bunch of wolves going in with Bella and Edward in the first wave it shouldn't be you with them."

" And I am guessing you think it should be you Jake?"

" No it WILL be me and the Doc said I can choose the five others who come with me, sorry buddy you are still too little."

Something crashed against the floor and a bowl rolled out of the kitchen. I scooped it up and walked in the room. " Hey guys what's going on?"

Seth rolled his eyes, folded his arms and plopped down in his chair. " Well Bella as you can see Seth here is a child, and I don't feel children should play with scissors."

I nodded, " And by scissors you mean?"

" He wants to go in with the first wave, it's too dangerous, he will be slaughtered in seconds."

I agreed Seth was young, but there was something about his spirit I really liked, " It's not about size Jake," I jokingly elbowed him in the ribs.

" Yeah ha ha very funny Bella, I know that, but his mentality is all off."

Seth stood up, " I am right here Jake for God sake you are talking like I am not even in the room."

I raised my eyebrows, " He has a point Jake, I mean seriously look at me, I am tiny but I could incinerate you with a snap of my fingers, and as for the mentality, we are all fucking crazy so just stow that away."

" Bella are you seriously thinking he should go?" Jake was getting very agitated he took an aggressive step toward me. " You are fucking psycho if you think I am sending him near the castle."

Edward quickly got between me and Jake, " Listen Jake back off, Bella is giving her opinion, if this is going to be a problem then maybe you and I can go down to the arena and dish it out."

Jake let out a single laugh, " No I get it, she is all about the slaughter of the innocent." Jake barely finished his sentence when Edward slammed him against the wall.

" JAKE, EDWARD ENOUGH, I screamed using the air I pushed them off each other crashing them into chairs on the opposite ends of the room. " I will talk to the doctor, and I and I alone will decide who comes in the first wave, period the end, got it?"

Both men just nodded. " Good now if you'll excuse me." I left the kitchen in a huff, looking around for Carlisle.

I was so enraged, I couldn't believe anyone was excited about fighting Aro and his dumbass minions, and I couldn't believe that the doc was throwing responsibilities around to those who clearly shouldn't even handle a potato gun. I raced to his office, I didn't even knock I was way too angry, I punched right through the door, splinters of wood flew in every direction. Carlisle flew back in his chair and looked at me with slight terror. He put his hands up in front of him in defense. I took a step inside, I heard hissing and growls and quickly realized it was own. It was fleeting but I glanced at my reflection in a hanging mirror, the person was on fire, literally her finger tips had flames spider webbing up her arms. Her pitch black hair was blowing upward and her eyes were a horrifying abyss. Behind her was Edward, his face was full of worry, " Bella, my love, please focus, think of the good not the bad, you can control it, you are not your father or your mother, just breathe." 

It was me, the nightmare reflecting was me! " Oh my God." Immediately my body calmed, the flames extinguished and I watched myself transform back. " Carlisle I am sorry," tears filled my eyes I looked at Edward, " I lost myself, you found me." I grabbed him and held him as if he was a life vest.

" It's OK Bella, you got it under control, remember you are most powerful when you are happy, you don't want to be what your father wanted you to be."

Carlisle slowly got up and grabbed his papers, he wasn't scared but he was leery. " I am so unbelievably sorry doc, I came here to yell at you honestly I didn't mean to...." 

He gave a stoic smile shook his head, " It's quite alright Bella, are you alright now?"

"Yes," I flattened my hair and sat on the sofa.

" Now what has you so, well upset?"

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself before speaking, " you have to stop putting idiots in charge."

He chuckled a bit, " you are referring to the wolves?"

" Jake mostly, but yeah."

He looked down a piece of paper and then placed it in front of me. " Do you see all those names?"

I looked quickly, in tiny writing was about five hundred names, " yeah what about them?"

" Five hundred vampires are in volterra, these are the names," then he handed me another piece of paper, " two hundred and seventeen gypsies," and lastly he handed me three pieces of paper, " One thousand and fifteen children in the dungeons of that castle, being trained to kill."

My head jolted up " Children?"

"Yes, now I understand you think Jake is an idiot, but he isn't he has experience and he has the respect of his pack, we need him."

" Fine Carlisle, but I want to see his plan and I want to be in the loop from here on in." It wasn't put in question form, it was pretty matter of fact. He nodded and I got up, stepped over the debris and headed to my room to lay down.

Chapter 33~ The Weeping Bride

Edward and I were like two amazingly in love children, giggling all the way to the garden. We were abruptly interrupted by the sounds of dry crying. We slinked back and arched our heads around the rose covered archway. We saw Esme, she was slumped over three waiting pools, she was gingerly tossing flowers into it. Her pain was so immense, she could never shed a tear, and as I watched I realized the flowers were the dry tears that fell from within her trapped soul. Edward whispered to me ," We should go and leave her be."

" Edward we can't leave her, can't you see her suffering?" I turned to him and saw the sorrow in his eyes, " Oh of course you can, you know why she is sad."

" I am not sure we should be here Bella, let's go inside."

I just smiled reassuringly, " Edward everyone here has suffered terribly at the hands of my family, her pain calls to me, maybe I can do something for her."

" She isn't like Stefan, she wishes for death but her prayers have no certainty to them, she wants life."

" Yes, and I might be able to help her if I know what troubles her."

He stared at me for a long moment, and then dropped his hands from my shoulders, " Alright, go on.

I winked and turned, carefully walking toward Esme, not wanting to startle her. Not like creeping up on a vampire is even possible. I was only a foot from her but she wasn't even reacting to my presence. " Esme?"

She leaped up, " Oh Bella, I didn't hear you I was just," She was flustered trying to find an excuse to explain herself.

I wasn't sure what the right reaction was so I simply grabbed her and wrapped my arms around her embracing her into the biggest hug I could muster, " I wish I could absorb your pain."

Her silent sobs began again, she nestled her head onto my chest and hugged my waist. I wasn't taller than her but her pain weighed on her shoulders so much she was the size of a child. I stroked her head and rocked back and forth like I would for Mara if she woke from a startling nightmare." Tell me why your fire has burned out Esme?"

Slowly she lifted her head, her inconsolable eyes met my gaze," I figured you knew, didn't Edward tell you?"

I turned to see Edward just walking around the garden, " No Esme that's not how Edward works. He has no way to turn off his gift, he sees it as intrusive at times, he doesn't feel he has the right to share the diaries of the people he encounters."

She shot me an aching grin, " An honorable man, so much like Carlisle." She sat down on a bench facing the waiting pools. 

I sat beside her, my eyes taking in her expressions. " I want to help you Esme, I do so much, how can I?"

She cocked her head up and looked into my all too hopeful eyes. " You are amazing Bella, it is so hard to believe you were created in malice, and born through evil, and then raised by the hurtful hands of your father."

Shame washed through me. it was impossible to not feel responsible for what Aro and Moriana had done to so many. Esme lovingly lifted my chin up with her finger. " Do not ever look to the door of hell for what your parents have done. when you were born you were gifted with wings, for you are an angel."

" You shouldn't be consoling me Esme, It is I who wants to help you."

She nodded," you are," she chuckled just once, " you remind me so much of my daughter."

"Your daughter?"

Her eyes traveled to the water again," Oh my yes, she was just as beautiful as you, and her heart was five times the size of her body."

I realized the three waiting pools symbolized people in her life that no longer breathed, that too soon were taken from her. " The pools, who are they?"

She gave me a smile of reminisce, " The large one is my Love, the middle one my daughter, and the tiny one is for my son."

I knew the answer to my question before I asked it, perhaps it was wishful thinking that she would supply me with a different answer, but I asked it anyway, " Where you a vampire and they were not, and you outlived them?"

She shook her head, " No sweet child, I wish that was the case." 

I just waited for Esme to speak, her eyes were just shifting from one pool to the other. 

 "Alistar and I fell in love when we were young, deep love is what my mother called it. It was impossible to keep our hands off of each other, so when I became pregnant with my daughter it was no surprise to anyone." She let out one single laugh." Alistar and I never believed marriage was the way to show we loved each other, so we just never did." She closed her eyes before she continued. " Charlotte was born in the rain, literally, we got stranded in the middle of a hurricane. We were on a road right in front of a makeshift sign that said welcome to Charlotte, NC, so we took it as a sign." She opened her eyes again. " When she was born she was the most beautiful child I had ever seen, when we finally got home we just spent the next four years adoring her and teaching her. We were a happy little family, and then Peter was born and it just made us complete."

I felt Esme's body stiffen, I knew this story was going to a dark place.

" One day we were all in our garden and a passerby came to the door, he was looking for food and shelter for the night since a storm was rolling in. Alistar and I had not heard that any storm was coming but travelers tend to feel things and he had such an innocent young face, he couldn't have been older then twelve or thirteen."

I knew she was referring to Alec, I reached out and grabbed her hand.

" I woke in the middle of the night to screams, Alistair and I rushed down the stairs to find the traveler tying up Charlotte, and a man with raven hair was cradling Peter in his arms." She paused for a moment, trying to gather strength to continue I am sure." He turned to me and Alistar and gave such a sadistic grin, and I knew in that moment we were in such trouble, his blood red eyes and pale skin, it was like he was torn out of the tales my mother would read to us." She squeezed my hand. " The man, he asked me to choose a child to keep, said one could stay but the other went with him. Alistar became enraged and charged the traveler, but half way to him he doubled over in pain, and a fair haired little girl darkened my door way."

Jane, with her gift of pain it could be no other. As I listened to Esme my heart sank deeper and deeper into sadness. My father was a stranger to me, only now am I seeing that every embrace, and tender touch was laced with darkness and hatred.

" I remember falling to the ground begging him to spare the children and to take me instead, but he just laughed and told me he would take me anyway, that he was simply offering me a parting gift, A PARTING GIFT can you believe that?"

All I could do was shake my head in disbelief.

" That was when He... Aro... grabbed Alistar by his throat and slammed him against the wall and told him that he was an honorable man for attempting to save his family, and  then like a rag doll he shred him to pieces." She hung her head and cupped her hands over her eyes. " One moment he was there and the next he was gone, they all laughed like it was sport." She was silent for a bit, her next words were just whispers, " Charlotte's screams haunt me still to this day, she called for her father even as he lie there on the ground in a pool of blood, she wanted him to save her. I should have tried, I couldn't move, all I could do was reach for peter and hope to just touch him one more time, but I couldn't reach him." 

Her silent sobs were tearing me up inside, I could feel her emotions crash through me.

" I looked to Charlotte and just told her I loved her, told her to be brave and not to cry, told her she would be with daddy soon enough, I knew Bella, I knew he was not going to spare anyone, and I knew I didn't have a chance to save anyone, so if I couldn't save them from the torture they would receive then I would at least make their death fast, painless." She griped my hand with all her might. " I asked if I could just hug my children one last time, and I don't know if it was morbid curiosity or something else but he allowed it, and it was all I needed, I squeezed Charlotte tightly as he placed Peter in my arms, I remember their smells, the feel of their skin, the sound their heart beats made. Aro just watched our private moment like we were entertaining him, I refused him the right to my babies, and I did the unthinkable."

I reached around and put my arms around Esme, I knew what she did was consuming her for eternity.

" As I hugged them Peter suffocated in my bosom, and I grabbed the rope that was around Charlottes neck and gripped it tighter, I felt them leave this world, I told them to go to daddy now, to run in the sunflower fields, and to chase the butterflies."

Scarlet tears poured from my eyes like a water fall, my heart was burning.

" What I did angered him so much, he told me how my suffering had only begun. And he was right, he bound me and took me to his castle, I was knocked out but when I woke I was in a wedding dress, it was like no dress I had ever seen, but as I walked in it a stream of blood followed behind me. Without a hint of emotion Aro told me I would marry him. I refused, so he had some vampire bind me to him, her name escapes me, and so I married him, after I painfully said I do he leaned into me and whispered, my children and lover were with me this day as he pointed to the bottom of my dress, it was soaked in my family's blood."

I saw Edward from a far his head in his hands as he listened to the story that he had heard played over and over in Esme's mind.

"That night he turned me into this, told me my punishment for betraying him was an eternity of remembering." She tossed some daisies into the water, " I escaped one night during a party, and found Carlisle here in an abandoned house, and I never left, and I learned to love him, but Aro's curse forever haunts me."

I was speechless, I knew there was nothing I could do, Edward knew no magic inside me could bring her family back. " I wish I was powerful enough to give you back all my father took from you."

She looked at me, " Bella, when Carlisle told me of your birth, I hoped for a miracle with you, and you have not disappointed, when you came into this world you were the complete opposite of what Aro wanted, but more powerful than his wildest dreams, what you do with what has been given to you is what determines the fate of us all, you fight, and you win, with that I will find my peace."

" I promise."