Chapter 34 ~ Keeping It Together

I walked out of the garden in a trance, my mind kept flashing me images of Esme crying on the floor begging for her children and her lover's life. Followed by images of her is a blood soaked wedding dress, " I am such a fool."

Edwards loving arms embraced me from behind and he pulled me close, " you are a lot of things Bella, but a fool is not one of them."

Without separating myself from his arms I whirled around to face him, " Edward he fooled everyone, and so many people had their lives destroyed because of him, it just makes me wonder who or what else will come up and bite me in the ass." In that moment I thought of Maggie. " Poor Maggie, I haven't checked on her in awhile, this is probably devastating to her."

He smiled at me lovingly and kissed my forehead, " then we should probably go pay her a little visit."

We walked down the hall toward her room, as we got closer we heard a beautiful melody, I looked at Edward, " Yes its Maggie, she is magnificent."

I stood by her door for a few minutes just getting lost in her magical song, I must have been leaning on the door because when she abruptly stopped and opened it I fell forward. " Bella, what on heavens are you doing?"

I sheepishly smiled, " Hi Maggie, I'm so sorry I was coming to talk to you when your music stopped me dead in my tracks, it was amazing."

She chuckled, " Oh sweet child, some things never change, you used to sit outside my living quarters at the castle when you were a child and listen to me playing the piano."

As I lifted myself off the floor, Edward stepped inside, " Hey Mags."

" Oh hello Edward, so tell me what do owe for you two kids stopping by?"

Edward gave me a tight smile and urged me to go on by gesturing, " Well Maggie, I was just in the garden you see, and I was , well I wasn't really doing anything, something just, not something someone...."

" Oh you aren't seriously getting all bumbly child are you?" Maggie said while laughing. " Just spit it out, and stand up straight!"

I immediately perked up, I took  a deep breath and blurted it out, " you told me once before that my birth was what transferred my father into a great man, but recent developments shows a whole different picture and I was just wondering if he performed some magic on you or you knew and were just hiding it from me?" I exhaled relieved I had said it.

Maggie stood staring at me, only her eyes were shifting from me to Edward and back again. " Ok I can see you have been overloaded with life lately, sit down." 

Without hesitation I sat on her bed, Edward came and sat beside me. I looked at him he was surveying the room, looking at her pictures and such. I knew he knew all she was going to say but was just there to support me. And unless it was something I needed to know he NEVER exposed peoples thoughts to me.

" Bella my sweet child, if Aro used magic on me I doubt I would know, I didn't even know Moriana was still alive until recently." She pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of me. " My one and only concern was always you Bella, nothing else really mattered to me." She released that typical sigh when you don't really know what to say but you wish your words would heal the hurt. " At this point the past is the past and the future must be changed, and Bella?" I looked up at her. " You are the person to do it, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that you must."

All I could do was smile, " I know you are Maggie, I love you, it doesn't matter who gave birth to me, I am just glad it was you who raised me." she grabbed my hand and gently kissed it.

" Now don't worry about me I am doing fine, you go and work, strategize or whatever the good doctor has you doing down there, I will see you later, OK?" 

I got up and hugged her, " I hear you loud and clear Maggie."

" Good now go." She shuffled Edward and I off and shut the door, and moments later her music filled the halls again. 

As Edward and I rounded the corner we heard some dishes clanging and loud laughter. I stopped and pulled on his arm, " wait a second."

" Yeah OK Seth you can take on the vamps all on your own?"

" Absolutely Jake, you know I'm a tough one I don't care what anyone says."

" I just think if there are going to be a bunch of wolves going in with Bella and Edward in the first wave it shouldn't be you with them."

" And I am guessing you think it should be you Jake?"

" No it WILL be me and the Doc said I can choose the five others who come with me, sorry buddy you are still too little."

Something crashed against the floor and a bowl rolled out of the kitchen. I scooped it up and walked in the room. " Hey guys what's going on?"

Seth rolled his eyes, folded his arms and plopped down in his chair. " Well Bella as you can see Seth here is a child, and I don't feel children should play with scissors."

I nodded, " And by scissors you mean?"

" He wants to go in with the first wave, it's too dangerous, he will be slaughtered in seconds."

I agreed Seth was young, but there was something about his spirit I really liked, " It's not about size Jake," I jokingly elbowed him in the ribs.

" Yeah ha ha very funny Bella, I know that, but his mentality is all off."

Seth stood up, " I am right here Jake for God sake you are talking like I am not even in the room."

I raised my eyebrows, " He has a point Jake, I mean seriously look at me, I am tiny but I could incinerate you with a snap of my fingers, and as for the mentality, we are all fucking crazy so just stow that away."

" Bella are you seriously thinking he should go?" Jake was getting very agitated he took an aggressive step toward me. " You are fucking psycho if you think I am sending him near the castle."

Edward quickly got between me and Jake, " Listen Jake back off, Bella is giving her opinion, if this is going to be a problem then maybe you and I can go down to the arena and dish it out."

Jake let out a single laugh, " No I get it, she is all about the slaughter of the innocent." Jake barely finished his sentence when Edward slammed him against the wall.

" JAKE, EDWARD ENOUGH, I screamed using the air I pushed them off each other crashing them into chairs on the opposite ends of the room. " I will talk to the doctor, and I and I alone will decide who comes in the first wave, period the end, got it?"

Both men just nodded. " Good now if you'll excuse me." I left the kitchen in a huff, looking around for Carlisle.

I was so enraged, I couldn't believe anyone was excited about fighting Aro and his dumbass minions, and I couldn't believe that the doc was throwing responsibilities around to those who clearly shouldn't even handle a potato gun. I raced to his office, I didn't even knock I was way too angry, I punched right through the door, splinters of wood flew in every direction. Carlisle flew back in his chair and looked at me with slight terror. He put his hands up in front of him in defense. I took a step inside, I heard hissing and growls and quickly realized it was own. It was fleeting but I glanced at my reflection in a hanging mirror, the person was on fire, literally her finger tips had flames spider webbing up her arms. Her pitch black hair was blowing upward and her eyes were a horrifying abyss. Behind her was Edward, his face was full of worry, " Bella, my love, please focus, think of the good not the bad, you can control it, you are not your father or your mother, just breathe." 

It was me, the nightmare reflecting was me! " Oh my God." Immediately my body calmed, the flames extinguished and I watched myself transform back. " Carlisle I am sorry," tears filled my eyes I looked at Edward, " I lost myself, you found me." I grabbed him and held him as if he was a life vest.

" It's OK Bella, you got it under control, remember you are most powerful when you are happy, you don't want to be what your father wanted you to be."

Carlisle slowly got up and grabbed his papers, he wasn't scared but he was leery. " I am so unbelievably sorry doc, I came here to yell at you honestly I didn't mean to...." 

He gave a stoic smile shook his head, " It's quite alright Bella, are you alright now?"

"Yes," I flattened my hair and sat on the sofa.

" Now what has you so, well upset?"

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself before speaking, " you have to stop putting idiots in charge."

He chuckled a bit, " you are referring to the wolves?"

" Jake mostly, but yeah."

He looked down a piece of paper and then placed it in front of me. " Do you see all those names?"

I looked quickly, in tiny writing was about five hundred names, " yeah what about them?"

" Five hundred vampires are in volterra, these are the names," then he handed me another piece of paper, " two hundred and seventeen gypsies," and lastly he handed me three pieces of paper, " One thousand and fifteen children in the dungeons of that castle, being trained to kill."

My head jolted up " Children?"

"Yes, now I understand you think Jake is an idiot, but he isn't he has experience and he has the respect of his pack, we need him."

" Fine Carlisle, but I want to see his plan and I want to be in the loop from here on in." It wasn't put in question form, it was pretty matter of fact. He nodded and I got up, stepped over the debris and headed to my room to lay down.

Chapter 33~ The Weeping Bride

Edward and I were like two amazingly in love children, giggling all the way to the garden. We were abruptly interrupted by the sounds of dry crying. We slinked back and arched our heads around the rose covered archway. We saw Esme, she was slumped over three waiting pools, she was gingerly tossing flowers into it. Her pain was so immense, she could never shed a tear, and as I watched I realized the flowers were the dry tears that fell from within her trapped soul. Edward whispered to me ," We should go and leave her be."

" Edward we can't leave her, can't you see her suffering?" I turned to him and saw the sorrow in his eyes, " Oh of course you can, you know why she is sad."

" I am not sure we should be here Bella, let's go inside."

I just smiled reassuringly, " Edward everyone here has suffered terribly at the hands of my family, her pain calls to me, maybe I can do something for her."

" She isn't like Stefan, she wishes for death but her prayers have no certainty to them, she wants life."

" Yes, and I might be able to help her if I know what troubles her."

He stared at me for a long moment, and then dropped his hands from my shoulders, " Alright, go on.

I winked and turned, carefully walking toward Esme, not wanting to startle her. Not like creeping up on a vampire is even possible. I was only a foot from her but she wasn't even reacting to my presence. " Esme?"

She leaped up, " Oh Bella, I didn't hear you I was just," She was flustered trying to find an excuse to explain herself.

I wasn't sure what the right reaction was so I simply grabbed her and wrapped my arms around her embracing her into the biggest hug I could muster, " I wish I could absorb your pain."

Her silent sobs began again, she nestled her head onto my chest and hugged my waist. I wasn't taller than her but her pain weighed on her shoulders so much she was the size of a child. I stroked her head and rocked back and forth like I would for Mara if she woke from a startling nightmare." Tell me why your fire has burned out Esme?"

Slowly she lifted her head, her inconsolable eyes met my gaze," I figured you knew, didn't Edward tell you?"

I turned to see Edward just walking around the garden, " No Esme that's not how Edward works. He has no way to turn off his gift, he sees it as intrusive at times, he doesn't feel he has the right to share the diaries of the people he encounters."

She shot me an aching grin, " An honorable man, so much like Carlisle." She sat down on a bench facing the waiting pools. 

I sat beside her, my eyes taking in her expressions. " I want to help you Esme, I do so much, how can I?"

She cocked her head up and looked into my all too hopeful eyes. " You are amazing Bella, it is so hard to believe you were created in malice, and born through evil, and then raised by the hurtful hands of your father."

Shame washed through me. it was impossible to not feel responsible for what Aro and Moriana had done to so many. Esme lovingly lifted my chin up with her finger. " Do not ever look to the door of hell for what your parents have done. when you were born you were gifted with wings, for you are an angel."

" You shouldn't be consoling me Esme, It is I who wants to help you."

She nodded," you are," she chuckled just once, " you remind me so much of my daughter."

"Your daughter?"

Her eyes traveled to the water again," Oh my yes, she was just as beautiful as you, and her heart was five times the size of her body."

I realized the three waiting pools symbolized people in her life that no longer breathed, that too soon were taken from her. " The pools, who are they?"

She gave me a smile of reminisce, " The large one is my Love, the middle one my daughter, and the tiny one is for my son."

I knew the answer to my question before I asked it, perhaps it was wishful thinking that she would supply me with a different answer, but I asked it anyway, " Where you a vampire and they were not, and you outlived them?"

She shook her head, " No sweet child, I wish that was the case." 

I just waited for Esme to speak, her eyes were just shifting from one pool to the other. 

 "Alistar and I fell in love when we were young, deep love is what my mother called it. It was impossible to keep our hands off of each other, so when I became pregnant with my daughter it was no surprise to anyone." She let out one single laugh." Alistar and I never believed marriage was the way to show we loved each other, so we just never did." She closed her eyes before she continued. " Charlotte was born in the rain, literally, we got stranded in the middle of a hurricane. We were on a road right in front of a makeshift sign that said welcome to Charlotte, NC, so we took it as a sign." She opened her eyes again. " When she was born she was the most beautiful child I had ever seen, when we finally got home we just spent the next four years adoring her and teaching her. We were a happy little family, and then Peter was born and it just made us complete."

I felt Esme's body stiffen, I knew this story was going to a dark place.

" One day we were all in our garden and a passerby came to the door, he was looking for food and shelter for the night since a storm was rolling in. Alistar and I had not heard that any storm was coming but travelers tend to feel things and he had such an innocent young face, he couldn't have been older then twelve or thirteen."

I knew she was referring to Alec, I reached out and grabbed her hand.

" I woke in the middle of the night to screams, Alistair and I rushed down the stairs to find the traveler tying up Charlotte, and a man with raven hair was cradling Peter in his arms." She paused for a moment, trying to gather strength to continue I am sure." He turned to me and Alistar and gave such a sadistic grin, and I knew in that moment we were in such trouble, his blood red eyes and pale skin, it was like he was torn out of the tales my mother would read to us." She squeezed my hand. " The man, he asked me to choose a child to keep, said one could stay but the other went with him. Alistar became enraged and charged the traveler, but half way to him he doubled over in pain, and a fair haired little girl darkened my door way."

Jane, with her gift of pain it could be no other. As I listened to Esme my heart sank deeper and deeper into sadness. My father was a stranger to me, only now am I seeing that every embrace, and tender touch was laced with darkness and hatred.

" I remember falling to the ground begging him to spare the children and to take me instead, but he just laughed and told me he would take me anyway, that he was simply offering me a parting gift, A PARTING GIFT can you believe that?"

All I could do was shake my head in disbelief.

" That was when He... Aro... grabbed Alistar by his throat and slammed him against the wall and told him that he was an honorable man for attempting to save his family, and  then like a rag doll he shred him to pieces." She hung her head and cupped her hands over her eyes. " One moment he was there and the next he was gone, they all laughed like it was sport." She was silent for a bit, her next words were just whispers, " Charlotte's screams haunt me still to this day, she called for her father even as he lie there on the ground in a pool of blood, she wanted him to save her. I should have tried, I couldn't move, all I could do was reach for peter and hope to just touch him one more time, but I couldn't reach him." 

Her silent sobs were tearing me up inside, I could feel her emotions crash through me.

" I looked to Charlotte and just told her I loved her, told her to be brave and not to cry, told her she would be with daddy soon enough, I knew Bella, I knew he was not going to spare anyone, and I knew I didn't have a chance to save anyone, so if I couldn't save them from the torture they would receive then I would at least make their death fast, painless." She griped my hand with all her might. " I asked if I could just hug my children one last time, and I don't know if it was morbid curiosity or something else but he allowed it, and it was all I needed, I squeezed Charlotte tightly as he placed Peter in my arms, I remember their smells, the feel of their skin, the sound their heart beats made. Aro just watched our private moment like we were entertaining him, I refused him the right to my babies, and I did the unthinkable."

I reached around and put my arms around Esme, I knew what she did was consuming her for eternity.

" As I hugged them Peter suffocated in my bosom, and I grabbed the rope that was around Charlottes neck and gripped it tighter, I felt them leave this world, I told them to go to daddy now, to run in the sunflower fields, and to chase the butterflies."

Scarlet tears poured from my eyes like a water fall, my heart was burning.

" What I did angered him so much, he told me how my suffering had only begun. And he was right, he bound me and took me to his castle, I was knocked out but when I woke I was in a wedding dress, it was like no dress I had ever seen, but as I walked in it a stream of blood followed behind me. Without a hint of emotion Aro told me I would marry him. I refused, so he had some vampire bind me to him, her name escapes me, and so I married him, after I painfully said I do he leaned into me and whispered, my children and lover were with me this day as he pointed to the bottom of my dress, it was soaked in my family's blood."

I saw Edward from a far his head in his hands as he listened to the story that he had heard played over and over in Esme's mind.

"That night he turned me into this, told me my punishment for betraying him was an eternity of remembering." She tossed some daisies into the water, " I escaped one night during a party, and found Carlisle here in an abandoned house, and I never left, and I learned to love him, but Aro's curse forever haunts me."

I was speechless, I knew there was nothing I could do, Edward knew no magic inside me could bring her family back. " I wish I was powerful enough to give you back all my father took from you."

She looked at me, " Bella, when Carlisle told me of your birth, I hoped for a miracle with you, and you have not disappointed, when you came into this world you were the complete opposite of what Aro wanted, but more powerful than his wildest dreams, what you do with what has been given to you is what determines the fate of us all, you fight, and you win, with that I will find my peace."

" I promise."

Chapter 32 ~ Strategy

I raced down the corridor to the main practice room. It seemed large enough, and fireproof. Edward entered shortly after me. “Bella, what are you thinking?”

“Oh Edward I am thinking of everything.”  I felt confident, I felt like the battle with who I am and who I am supposed to be were perfectly in sync. “Watch,” I raced to one end of the room.

“Perhaps we should get Carlise to observe Bella?”

I simply chuckled, “Don’t be nervous, just trust me.”

“More than anything Bella, you know that.”

“Great, go sit on that stool.”

Edward looked at it, walked around it, rubbed it, and looked at me curiously,” Alright.” He sat, hands folded on his lap, and smiled.

“Ok now just keep smiling.” I took a deep breath, “And whatever you do, don’t move.”

I saw a hint of fear on his face, but I knew whatever happened he was going to be fine. I closed my eyes and focused on him, his touch and the feelings it all gave me. I watched as a stream of fire slowly appeared at my feet. “Amazing,” I could almost hear it speak to me, worshiping the power I had over it. I knelt before it, carefully putting my hands over top. The fire reached for me. I shot a look at Edward; His face was full of wonder. “Now remember, don’t move.”

He nodded; I took the fire and threw it at him. It was perfection, all he did was close his eyes, he didn’t move.  The fire stopped five inches from his face. He peeked one eye open. “Holy shit Bella.”

“Touch it,” he looked at me with slight madness. 

“It will engulf me and turn me to ash.”

I walked to him, looked at him in the eyes, “I won’t let it.” 

“You are that confident, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he slowly lifted his hand, and at a snail’s pace inched it toward the fire before him. Suddenly a smile of relief and amazement painted his face. 

“Bella, this is outstanding, I can feel the heat, but there is no pain.” He looked at me, “How are you doing this?”

“I am doing this because I can; it is tied to me and me to it.” I placed my hand over the flame; it erupted and spun around the two of us wrapping itself around us like a blanket.

 

“How did you figure it out?” 

“ I spent so much time thinking of how I could defeat the unstoppable, and this whole time all I had to do was feel it, I needed to find my peace and with that I would find myself.” 

Edward leaned in and kissed me, at the same moment we heard gasps. I turned quickly extinguishing the flames.  There stood Carlise, Esme, and the others. “I apologize, I was simple training.”

Carlisle hesitantly walked toward me, “No apology necessary, we are happy to see you training."

Zafrina slinked in eyes to the ground walking to the observation booth. She hasn't been able to even look at me since she was taken by Moriana. We all knew she was tortured, but her reasons for sticking this out with us were very unclear. I wish I understood why she was still hanging out with us. Edward could see I was watching her, " maybe you should go talk to her Bella?"

I simply shrugged, " sure why not." I went to the booth, sat beside her. Neither of us spoke for a while. I had no idea what to say to her clearly anymore than she did. I took a deep breath, " I don't hate you, you know that Zafrina."

She chuckled sarcastically, " sure you don't."

I turned to her, " I am not kidding, I understand why you did what you did."

" How is it that you can understand something that makes absolutely no sense?"

It was a gutsy move but I reached out and took her hand in mine, "we do what we feel is right in a moment in hopes that it will write a perfect future." She just looked at our hands and back at me. " you didn't want Mara to die, but you rather see her die than be tortured like you were, right?"

She tried to speak, I could see her words were getting caught in her throat. Finally she collected herself, " Bella, when you killed my family, all I ever wanted was revenge for that, I told myself I would get myself in and get you to trust me and then when you least expected it I would get my justice." 

I wanted to gasp, and scream at her, but I knew she was trying to tell me something, explain to me how she came to stay and not rebel.

" But you don't remember my family and how you killed them, hell Bella, I could barely remember, all I knew was I hated you." She removed her hand from mine. " It wasn't until Moriana had me and burned me, cut me and tried to shatter me that I realized you did for me what I tried to do with Mara."

I felt confused, all I could do was listen to her, hope that some sort of sense was made.

" They were going to die anyway Bella, you spared them, you held this burden and risked breaking what we had so that they could go peacefully and not how I would have had you not saved me."

She put her head in her hands, I could feel her burning sadness consuming her inside. " Zafrina, I wish I could remember, and I hope you are right, I have discovered amazing things about myself today, and if I killed your family I did it out of kindness not malice."

She peeked up, she stared at me for awhile and finally wrapped her arms around me, " I am so sorry Bella, I hate myself for how I have treated you."

I was taken back, slowly I returned the embrace, " don't hate yourself, I have a perfectly good list of people you can hate." She giggled and nodded.

We got up and walked out of the booth toward Edward and Carlise. I knew by the look on Edwards face he was utterly pleased at the turn of events. I smiled back at him. " Ok boys what's next?"

Edward nudged Carlise," Oh alright well Bella if you are up to it, we want to establish strategy, we want to figure a way where your powers can protect the fighters."

" Protect what fighters?"

He gestured to the others in the room, " All of them."

" You have got to be fucking kidding me Carlise, I am not sending them into their slaughter, I think the best course of action is for a small regiment to go in and clear out what they can before sending in the masses."

Edward stepped in, " what exactly, or should I say who do you mean?"

I grabbed his hand, " Not myself alone, don't worry, I meant the gifted ones, you see we need to destroy the gypsies before anything else, I believe it is them that hold a spell over the castle that prevent me or anyone with powers to use them, except vampires like you Edward or Zafrina."

He nodded, " so what about a group of gifted vampires and a group of wolves?"

I smile, " that would give them one hell of a surprise."

Carlisle clicked a button on a little remote he had and a large screen dropped from the ceiling, and a blue print of the castle appeared." Alright Bella we will need to enter from different points in order to be successful."

" No Carlise," I interrupted. " We need to find all areas the gypsies are at first."

" How are we going to find them?" Zafrina asked

" That's where I come in, I can locate them." They all looked at me curiously, I walked over to the screen with the blue print and places my hand on it and gently brushed my hand side to side until little spots of light appeared.

" Bella is that them?" Carlise asked

" The blue lights are the gypsies, the red are the vampires, we can track them now."

I turned around and everyone was staring at me in what only could be amazement. Edward scooped me up. " You are more powerful than I ever could have thought possible." 

I just laughed Carlise just stood there staring, " Its outstanding, we know where they are at every moment."

" Yes," I said, " The Trilords and my mother aren't up there, but no matter, I can feel when my parents are close, and Alice, well without the gypsies they are all sheep headed toward the slaughter."

Carlise didn't remove his eyes from the screen, " I am going to come up with a few ideas, and make a list of the gifted vampires and the strongest wolves, I will have that by the end of the day."

" Are you dismissing us doc?" Zafrina asked in her usual go fuck yourself tone.

Carlise simply waved his hand at us. We all giggled, " Alright Carlise we will catch up with you later."

Zafrina headed toward the library. Edward and I went to walk in the garden.