Chapter 37~ Nightmares

I couldn't move, frozen and catatonic. Dread, and hopelessness washing over me. It felt like death was sitting on my chest laughing at me. I could hear the sounds of voices but it was suffocated echoes. My vision was blurry nothing made any sense and then again it made perfect sense at the same time. Aro was too quiet, he hadn't tried to invade the camp here, we hadn't heard anything. It was only a matter of time until he struck. Emily's words played over and over in my head ~ " They busted through the doors, they had to break my arms I swear I wouldn't let her go and I didn't until they forced her from my hold, They took us to the castle, Bella, I am kept alive only to deliver this message to you that they have her, so since this is the last words of mine you will hear, know that I love you, and that every minute of my life was blessed because of you and Mara, thank Edward for trusting me with her, and I am so sorry I couldn't keep her safer, longer, Be brave beautiful Bella, be strong, Bring our little girl home, and kill these mother fuckers!"~

My sister, my blood, and now they had my daughter. Everything was falling apart and we had run out of time. I felt my body lift. For a moment I thought I was floating until I smelled Edward and realized he was carrying me. Still there was nothing but loss in my heart. I couldn't do this alone and no one else was strong enough to take on our enemies. " We're doomed."

Edward stopped moving, he put his face in mine, " Don't you dare quit on me, we are going to get her back!" 

He truly believed it, but how was he full of hope when the world was falling apart. The only way out of this was to sacrifice myself, take their attention so that they can get Mara out and..... That was it! I jolted and hopped out of Edward's arms, " I got it!"

His face was hard, his eyebrows were a canopy for his eyes casting shadows over his beautiful face, " What is it Bella, you know something?"

" Yes, Me, he wants me, so we give him me!"

Now his face went from grave to horrified, " You are fucking kidding me, Bella No we have been through this, we go together or we don't go, I'm not losing you." He gripped my shoulders forcefully, " Never again!"

He meant it, I knew if I left he would come after me, I knew that if he did he would end up dying. " I know Edward, listen trust me this is..."

He cut me off, " Fucking hell Bella, enough I am not going to be OK with anything if it means you are not beside me through this!"

I reached up and grabbed his face with both hands, and pushed my face an inch from mine. " I know, believe me I do." Gently I kissed him, waiting for him to melt, for an ease that wasn't going to come. " Gather everyone to the training center, and let me explain, please."

He clamped his eyes shut, clenched his jaw and nodded, only once, " fine." He kissed my forehead and returned to get everyone. I ran quickly to my room, grabbed my hair brush and toothbrush and rushed back out to the training center. 

I could hear everyone talking before I got there, waves of voices, high and low, muffled with only one word here and one word there coming through. I slowly opened the facility door, trying not to disturb anyone's conversations. No matter though when I entered everyone stopped talking and just looked at me. I scanned the faces before me. I knew that what I was going to suggest was going to kill some of these people. There just was no other way to get Mara back and end this war. I cleared my throat and walked through the crowd of vampires, and wolves. Edward was standing beside Carlise. They both looked like they had been dragged through the mud. Esme was sitting on a chair, her hands on her lap, sadness weighing heavy on her face, no doubt she was thinking of her own daughters fate at the hands of Aro.

I stepped up onto the lift in the floor so that everyone could see me, and took a deep breath. Anger, desperation, sadness, and fear was flooding my senses. The room was clustered with emotion. It took me a moment to get my bearings. I focused on Edward, he was confused but more than that curious. He knew I had an idea, he also knew I promised him I wouldn't leave him again, I could only imagine what he was thinking.

" I know what I am about to ask of you all is more of a sacrifice than a retaliation, but if its executed right than it can be both." and another deep breath, " I have an idea, I really think this can work, but it's going to be tricky, hell its insane but it's all I can think of to get her back, and to hopefully end this." I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my hair brush, and my tooth brush. " The only way to get Mara back is to offer myself to him." That got the room buzzing, I waited for a moment and let everyone yell their No's, and fucking no's. Finally I stamped my food, loudly! " I know he wants us both, but I also know Aro is selfish and if he can consume my blood for his own personal gain than he would see that he can come after Mara later, he would think he would be invincible." 

Edward stepped forward, " If he kills you, if he fucking kills you he can kill us all, if he kills you ,you damn us all!"

" I know that's why he can't have me." Yeah that got everyone talking again, " Shut the fuck up please, let me finish."  taking the hairbrush and toothbrush I placed it on a chair, " My DNA, that is how we do it, if drinking me makes him powerful than it can make you all powerful."

At that Edward grabbed my arm and yanked me to him, " We aren't drinking you dry to win this war!"

" I am not asking anyone to drink me dry Edward." I ripped him from his grip and hopped back up. " We are going to give everyone enough of my blood to give them an edge to fight, but that's not all." I couldn't help but smile, not out of joy but out of realization. " We are going to do a little magic."

Rosalie stepped forward, " What kind of magic?"

She had been quiet since we got here I had thought she was contemplating whether she should run or not. " He will need to sense that what stands before him is me, my blood will give you not just the edge but the key into the kingdom sort of speak, my magic will give him the illusion that I personally will be standing before him."

Again Rose, " How!"

"By making you all look like me!"

Absolute fucking silence, like I can hear everyone breathe quiet. " I can do this, but like I said part sacrifice, part retaliation."

" Bella?" I turned to Esme

" What."

" I will do it."

Carlisle gently took Esme's shoulders, " Esme darling, there are plenty of us, I am sure if Bella can do what she says she can that we have enough volunteers to fool Aro in this endeavor." 

Esme smiled slightly and kissed Carlisle's cheek, " I love you so very much, but as much as I want to do this, I need to do this, it isn't a fight he is looking for, I know him, I can do this."

He shook his head with determination, " No, it's too dangerous." He looked at me frantically, " Bella, tell her the dangers!"

I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to stand next to Carlisle and tell him that I forbid it, but I couldn't, " I have told everyone its dangerous, downright suicidal but she does know Aro better than most, and that is a huge benefit."

Carlisle let out a loud growl, " He will kill her."

" Let's hope not." It wasn't much but it was all I could muster. Looking at Esme's eyes they were thankful. I understood her need to make this right, to be a part of the breaking and ruining of his hellish rule. For her children and her lover she needed to do this. 

" I will train everyone to move like me, he will be looking at mannerisms, little quirks and gestures that I make, so as uncomforting as it is, watch me."

" Will you be at the castle with all of us?" Of course Seth expected to go, his voice full of excitement.

" Absolutely, I will seek out Moriana, once she is out of the picture, his defenses will lessen dramatically."

" How will you kill her?" Another question

" The only way I can, with everything I've got."

Edward's face was exhausted, he just stared at me. " Where am I in all this?"

Of course he would ask that, I simply extended my hand to him offering my embrace, " You will be right where I am, always."

He took my hand and brought it to his lips, and never let go.

Chapter 36 ~ Fall To Grace

Edward and I laid for hours in bed, my heart was a mess, my mind wasn't any better. Part of me wanted to go to Jake's room and beat the shit out of him. Sleep was not going to be paying me a visit any time soon. I sat up and looked at Edward, " I am going to go take a walk, I just can't sleep."

" You want company?"

" You know laying here with you is making is very hard for me to focus on this mess in my head, so I think I need some time by myself."

He gently grabbed my hand and tugged me down to his lips, " Or we don't have to think at all Bella."

Every inch of my skin slowly tingled, it was like that every time he touched me, " You are making me a procrastinator."

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me on top of his body, " So procrastinate with me a little while longer."

His eyes sparkled with passion, lust, and desperation, all I could do was stare, " I love you so much Edward, I hate that I ever hurt anyone, but I'm disgusted I ever hurt you."

He caressed my face with his finger and wrapped a strand of my hair behind my ear, his lips separated, I was prepared to hear some words about how I am wonderful and not to worry and all the things he always says to me to make me feel better. But his response was not spoken, He lifted his head and put my mouth on his and took every part of me ravenously.

I didn't pull away, I gave myself to him, at first I thought he just needed it but I think I needed him more. His tongue explored every inch of my body like it was the first time he ever tasted me. His hands were like silk he made the ugly person I felt like inside beautiful. My heart ached for more even when he was inside of me. His arms enveloped around me, I wrapped my legs around him as tight as I could. Every thrust made me whole, every kiss made me stronger. 

We were like this for hours until the sun peeked through the blinds. My body was happily exhausted, my heart was pounding but my mind was clear. Edward just smiled at me, knowing that our love was safe. I would protect him with everything I had and he would do the same.

There was a little knock on the door Edward didn't even look up, " Not right now Doc."

Carlisle tapped again, " I am sorry to interrupt but we have a situation." 

There was no need to ask what it was I just looked at Edward he had a grave look on his face. " We will be right there." It was all he said, he was out of bed and dressed before I had a chance to sit up.

" Edward!"

He looked at me, " Its Mara, let's go."

My heart stopped, what could it be, oh god my perfect bliss turned into a horrific nightmare. Edward was out the door and down the hall, I grabbed my shoes and ran after him. Carlisle was beside me. " What's going on Carlise?"

" Please remain calm Bella, for everyone's sake, just come with me and I will show you."

We reached the training room, the large screen with all the indicator lights was down. " What am I looking at Carlisle, why am I looking at this again?"

Edward was on fire again, full blown rage, " God dammit somebody talk to me!"

Esme glided in, she placed her hands on my shoulder, " stay calm Bella please."

Edward had no voice, I just looked at him and crashed to the floor, " They have her don't they?"

Jake ran in slid down to me, " We will get her back Bella I swear it!"

His voice his fucking voice pushed me right over the edge, I stood up and threw him across the room, " Don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't even fucking think about me!" Suddenly my vision went dark, " I can't see anything!"

" Relax Bella." It was Zafrina

" Zaf, what the hell are you doing, give me my sight back." suddenly I saw Mara running around the flowers in the garden.

" You need to calm down Bella, think of her, feel her, you can  do it." Zaf's voice was relaxing

I breathed slowly, " Is she OK?"

Then I heard Carlisle speak, " From what we can see she is fine, but..."

" BUT WHAT?" I blurted

" Can someone restrain her or something I fear her reaction to this." Carlisle's voice was cracking

My vision was repaired and Edward was standing in front of me, his face was still grave but he was worried, clearly about me, " What is it Edward please, tell me."

He closed his eyes ,put his hands on my shoulders, " We didn't have any indicator light for Mara."

he was right, " Yes, so we don't know they have her!"

" Yes we do." Carlisle said

" Fine how?"

He was futzing with the remote in his hand, Edward shifted behind me clasping my torso with his arms, " Show her."

Hesitantly the doctor hit the switch and Emily's appeared on the screen, her eyes, swollen shut, dirt, blood and tears covered her face. " Oh sweet Jesus!"

Her voice was rough, fear rested on every syllable, " My darling sister, I am so sorry, we tried to keep her safe, we fought until no one was left, they were too strong, they were too many." She would try and swallow only to meet more pain. " I couldn't call you, Mara and I hid in the cellar and they would hear us, she was so brave, she listened to me she was as quiet as a mouse." As tears poured from her eyes, they poured from mine as well. " They busted through the doors, they had to break my arms I swear I wouldn't let her go and I didn't until they forced her from my hold, They took us to the castle, Bella, I am kept alive only to deliver this message to you that they have her, so since this is the last words of mine you will hear, know that I love you, and that every minute of my life was blessed because of you and Mara, thank Edward for trusting me with her, and I am so sorry I couldn't keep her safer, longer, Be brave beautiful Bella, be strong, Bring our little girl home, and kill these mother fuckers!" 

I saw a hand grab Emily's hair and push her head back with a dagger they sliced her throat, right before my eyes, A shrill of anger escaped my lips, I saw red! And then my father was in front of me on the screen, dagger in hand, he had a pleased look on his face, " One daughter down, one to go, come home pretty bird, come to papa!" And then nothing. 

I stared at the nothingness before me, slowly I my body withered all the way down to the floor, Edward all the while grabbing me, he fell with me as our hearts sank into a despair we had only ever dreaded, until now. They had our daughter!

Chapter 35 ~ Cheeky Wolf

I got to my room a bit shaken and exhausted, I hated when I let myself go like that. Plopping on the bed I grabbed a pillow and smashed it into my face and growled in frustration at myself. " God Bella get it together, you just started figuring yourself out." I vaguely heard the tap on the door, figuring it was Edward he would just waltz right in. The tap, turned into a knock and then a full on assault to the door moments later. " OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME IN!"

I peeked from above the pillow and there was Jake arms folded leaning on the door frame with an arrogant look on his face. I just wanted to smack him, " Why the hell are you here Jake?"

" Oh I am doing fine Bella, thank you for asking, No I am not hurt by your rude outburst earlier, and sure since I am such a great guy I forgive you."

I sat up glaring at him, " I am trying desperately to remember but were you always such an asshole?"

He grinned, " Thing about not having all your marbles or puzzle pieces Bells is that people are going to fuck with your reality, but not me, so yes I have always been an asshole."

" Well thanks for the honesty at least, I hope it didn't hurt you."

He slowly walked over and bent down right in front of me, " I have always been honest with you."

One thing my memory had such a hard time with was remembering Jake, I know we fought together and I can feel in my heart that we were close but at the same time I felt anger deep in my soul with him. " I am sure you believe you have always been honest with me, and I am going to have to take you on your word because my memory is shit."

" Sometimes I wish I couldn't remember." 

His eyes went to the floor, there was great sorrow in his face. Time and this war has torn everyone apart inside. It's easy to forget when your memory has been wiped, but for everyone else the years are worn like shrouds on their bodies. " Sorry Jake."

His head shot up like he heard gunfire, " For what?"

" For not knowing why I should apologize to you in the first place."

He shrugged, " I am sure it's hard for you, and I wouldn't worry about it."

I grabbed his hand, I wasn't sure why but my body just did it, " Why Jake, Why should I apologize?"

He stared at our hands together, took his pointer and gently caressed over my knuckles, finally he leaned down and laid a tender kiss upon them. He looked at me with a smile and put my hand back onto my lap. " Focus on the future Bella, please for all of us, the past will consume you if you let it."

" Will you tell me someday?"

" We live through this and win, then.... nope, not even then."

I laughed, there was something familiar about his cheeky attitude. " OK Jake I get it."

He stood and backed up and we both abruptly stopped laughing when we saw a stone faced Edward looming at us. 

" Edward is everything alright?"

He was glaring at Jake like he was his next kill or something. Jake didn't back down, his stare was just as fierce. " Guys just chill please, let's let what happened in the kitchen go, we are all good."

It was like I wasn't in the room, So I got between them, grabbed their collars, " I'm fucking speaking, acknowledge!"

Edward looked at me quickly and then back to Jake, " Why is he in your bedroom?"

Jealous! He was Jealous, " He came to talk and smooth things over Edward." I turned to Jake, " Sure you don't want to talk about the past now?"

I could see him clenching his jaw, " Nope!" He said through gritted teeth.

Edward interjected, " Time to go Dog!"

" HEY HEY HEY, Chill out what's with the name calling?" I was stunned it seemed a little out of character for Edward to resort to childish playground bullying.

He was now glaring at me, " He shouldn't be here."

Jake was completely silent, I didn't understand really why because normally he was coming at people with witty comebacks, I just rolled my eyes. " Edward, green is an ugly color on you." A low growl came from Edward, " What the fuck?" I looked at Jake, " Hey you should go." He just nodded, slipped past me but gave Edward a shoulder check on his way out.

After he left I turned to Edward his eyes were narrowed, he could freeze water with his gaze. " Start talking Edward, NOW!"

" What do you want me to say Bella, how awesome it was to see you two so cuddly together in your room, on the bed where you and I fuck?"

The cruelty in his words, his anger was so off base. " Don't speak to me like that first of all and second, I can have anyone I want in here, and you should trust me not to FUCK anyone else!"

His hands were in fists, he was a raging man, burning inside. " Why was he here?" He asked in a angering whisper.

" Just talking, smoothing things over like I said before." 

He hung his head, " I didn't like seeing him in here with you."

" Yeah that's obvious, but why, I mean we have been traveling with him for weeks now and just now you don't like him here with me?"

He reached over and grabbed my shoulders, his was looking at me with such an intensity, " Bella, his thoughts.."

" His thoughts what Edward, tell me."

" You can't remember a lot of your past, that's good but he remembers it all, and there was a time, it was a dark time for you, we were deep in the war, we got separated, you all thought I was dead, I get it, you were out of yourself I understand I am not mad at you."

I got it, it all clicked, " Oh My God!!! Did I sleep with Jake."

" You were deep in the darkness Bella, he took total advantage of the situation, he let lust take over not sound mind."

I slinked down onto the bed, " Why would I do that?"

" Desperation, hope, but my guess was to feel anything then the anger that was sucking the life out of you."

I put my head in my hands, " I am so sorry Edward, did I tell you?"

"When I found you, you didn't have to I read his thoughts, you never denied it though, I knew how sorry you were, I also knew how sorry he wasn't."

I jumped up wrapped my arms around him, kissed every inch of his face, " I love you, I love you I love you, please know this please, I need you to."

He smiled tenderly, then took my head in his hands and kissed me passionately. " I love you My Bella, forever."

Chapter 34 ~ Keeping It Together

I walked out of the garden in a trance, my mind kept flashing me images of Esme crying on the floor begging for her children and her lover's life. Followed by images of her is a blood soaked wedding dress, " I am such a fool."

Edwards loving arms embraced me from behind and he pulled me close, " you are a lot of things Bella, but a fool is not one of them."

Without separating myself from his arms I whirled around to face him, " Edward he fooled everyone, and so many people had their lives destroyed because of him, it just makes me wonder who or what else will come up and bite me in the ass." In that moment I thought of Maggie. " Poor Maggie, I haven't checked on her in awhile, this is probably devastating to her."

He smiled at me lovingly and kissed my forehead, " then we should probably go pay her a little visit."

We walked down the hall toward her room, as we got closer we heard a beautiful melody, I looked at Edward, " Yes its Maggie, she is magnificent."

I stood by her door for a few minutes just getting lost in her magical song, I must have been leaning on the door because when she abruptly stopped and opened it I fell forward. " Bella, what on heavens are you doing?"

I sheepishly smiled, " Hi Maggie, I'm so sorry I was coming to talk to you when your music stopped me dead in my tracks, it was amazing."

She chuckled, " Oh sweet child, some things never change, you used to sit outside my living quarters at the castle when you were a child and listen to me playing the piano."

As I lifted myself off the floor, Edward stepped inside, " Hey Mags."

" Oh hello Edward, so tell me what do owe for you two kids stopping by?"

Edward gave me a tight smile and urged me to go on by gesturing, " Well Maggie, I was just in the garden you see, and I was , well I wasn't really doing anything, something just, not something someone...."

" Oh you aren't seriously getting all bumbly child are you?" Maggie said while laughing. " Just spit it out, and stand up straight!"

I immediately perked up, I took  a deep breath and blurted it out, " you told me once before that my birth was what transferred my father into a great man, but recent developments shows a whole different picture and I was just wondering if he performed some magic on you or you knew and were just hiding it from me?" I exhaled relieved I had said it.

Maggie stood staring at me, only her eyes were shifting from me to Edward and back again. " Ok I can see you have been overloaded with life lately, sit down." 

Without hesitation I sat on her bed, Edward came and sat beside me. I looked at him he was surveying the room, looking at her pictures and such. I knew he knew all she was going to say but was just there to support me. And unless it was something I needed to know he NEVER exposed peoples thoughts to me.

" Bella my sweet child, if Aro used magic on me I doubt I would know, I didn't even know Moriana was still alive until recently." She pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of me. " My one and only concern was always you Bella, nothing else really mattered to me." She released that typical sigh when you don't really know what to say but you wish your words would heal the hurt. " At this point the past is the past and the future must be changed, and Bella?" I looked up at her. " You are the person to do it, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that you must."

All I could do was smile, " I know you are Maggie, I love you, it doesn't matter who gave birth to me, I am just glad it was you who raised me." she grabbed my hand and gently kissed it.

" Now don't worry about me I am doing fine, you go and work, strategize or whatever the good doctor has you doing down there, I will see you later, OK?" 

I got up and hugged her, " I hear you loud and clear Maggie."

" Good now go." She shuffled Edward and I off and shut the door, and moments later her music filled the halls again. 

As Edward and I rounded the corner we heard some dishes clanging and loud laughter. I stopped and pulled on his arm, " wait a second."

" Yeah OK Seth you can take on the vamps all on your own?"

" Absolutely Jake, you know I'm a tough one I don't care what anyone says."

" I just think if there are going to be a bunch of wolves going in with Bella and Edward in the first wave it shouldn't be you with them."

" And I am guessing you think it should be you Jake?"

" No it WILL be me and the Doc said I can choose the five others who come with me, sorry buddy you are still too little."

Something crashed against the floor and a bowl rolled out of the kitchen. I scooped it up and walked in the room. " Hey guys what's going on?"

Seth rolled his eyes, folded his arms and plopped down in his chair. " Well Bella as you can see Seth here is a child, and I don't feel children should play with scissors."

I nodded, " And by scissors you mean?"

" He wants to go in with the first wave, it's too dangerous, he will be slaughtered in seconds."

I agreed Seth was young, but there was something about his spirit I really liked, " It's not about size Jake," I jokingly elbowed him in the ribs.

" Yeah ha ha very funny Bella, I know that, but his mentality is all off."

Seth stood up, " I am right here Jake for God sake you are talking like I am not even in the room."

I raised my eyebrows, " He has a point Jake, I mean seriously look at me, I am tiny but I could incinerate you with a snap of my fingers, and as for the mentality, we are all fucking crazy so just stow that away."

" Bella are you seriously thinking he should go?" Jake was getting very agitated he took an aggressive step toward me. " You are fucking psycho if you think I am sending him near the castle."

Edward quickly got between me and Jake, " Listen Jake back off, Bella is giving her opinion, if this is going to be a problem then maybe you and I can go down to the arena and dish it out."

Jake let out a single laugh, " No I get it, she is all about the slaughter of the innocent." Jake barely finished his sentence when Edward slammed him against the wall.

" JAKE, EDWARD ENOUGH, I screamed using the air I pushed them off each other crashing them into chairs on the opposite ends of the room. " I will talk to the doctor, and I and I alone will decide who comes in the first wave, period the end, got it?"

Both men just nodded. " Good now if you'll excuse me." I left the kitchen in a huff, looking around for Carlisle.

I was so enraged, I couldn't believe anyone was excited about fighting Aro and his dumbass minions, and I couldn't believe that the doc was throwing responsibilities around to those who clearly shouldn't even handle a potato gun. I raced to his office, I didn't even knock I was way too angry, I punched right through the door, splinters of wood flew in every direction. Carlisle flew back in his chair and looked at me with slight terror. He put his hands up in front of him in defense. I took a step inside, I heard hissing and growls and quickly realized it was own. It was fleeting but I glanced at my reflection in a hanging mirror, the person was on fire, literally her finger tips had flames spider webbing up her arms. Her pitch black hair was blowing upward and her eyes were a horrifying abyss. Behind her was Edward, his face was full of worry, " Bella, my love, please focus, think of the good not the bad, you can control it, you are not your father or your mother, just breathe." 

It was me, the nightmare reflecting was me! " Oh my God." Immediately my body calmed, the flames extinguished and I watched myself transform back. " Carlisle I am sorry," tears filled my eyes I looked at Edward, " I lost myself, you found me." I grabbed him and held him as if he was a life vest.

" It's OK Bella, you got it under control, remember you are most powerful when you are happy, you don't want to be what your father wanted you to be."

Carlisle slowly got up and grabbed his papers, he wasn't scared but he was leery. " I am so unbelievably sorry doc, I came here to yell at you honestly I didn't mean to...." 

He gave a stoic smile shook his head, " It's quite alright Bella, are you alright now?"

"Yes," I flattened my hair and sat on the sofa.

" Now what has you so, well upset?"

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself before speaking, " you have to stop putting idiots in charge."

He chuckled a bit, " you are referring to the wolves?"

" Jake mostly, but yeah."

He looked down a piece of paper and then placed it in front of me. " Do you see all those names?"

I looked quickly, in tiny writing was about five hundred names, " yeah what about them?"

" Five hundred vampires are in volterra, these are the names," then he handed me another piece of paper, " two hundred and seventeen gypsies," and lastly he handed me three pieces of paper, " One thousand and fifteen children in the dungeons of that castle, being trained to kill."

My head jolted up " Children?"

"Yes, now I understand you think Jake is an idiot, but he isn't he has experience and he has the respect of his pack, we need him."

" Fine Carlisle, but I want to see his plan and I want to be in the loop from here on in." It wasn't put in question form, it was pretty matter of fact. He nodded and I got up, stepped over the debris and headed to my room to lay down.